Ghost Hunting
by bookwtchery
Summary: Brodi returns to his college town to confront some ghosts. Where will this lead? Who knows. Probably won't be pretty. Re-editing, some continuity problems as a chapter seems to have disappeared. Please bear with me!
1. Chapter 1

Elise yawned and stretched, then rolled over, expecting to curl into Brodi's hard chest. She instead found a cold, empty mattress.

"Brodi?" she called out sleepily.

"Relax, my absahna. I'm here."

She sat up in bed and looked over the foot of the bed to see the delicious sight of a shirtless Brodi in full back bend.

"Yum." She said teasingly as she laid down on her stomach and rested her chin on her folded arms. Brodi chuckled as he lowered himself back to the floor. Then he stood and toweled off the glistening sweat before sitting down beside her.

"You're up early, babe. I was trying to be quiet; I thought I'd let you sleep in. "

Elise yawned and stretched again, then sat up and draped herself over his back, nuzzling his neck as she settled into a comfortable spot. God she was tired. They had gotten in late last night, and she certainly wasn't expecting to be awake so soon.

"I could say the same thing about you, sweetie. You had a rough night sleeping."

Brodi reached up and clasped her hand, kissing it softly before resting his cheek against it. "Which means you did, too. I am sorry, babe."

Elise squeezed his shoulders then moved so sit facing him.

"Nothing to apologize for," she said as she rested her hand once more against the side of his face. "I told you I'm in this for the long haul. Besides, it wasn't as bad as it has been in the past. You were talking in your sleep, that's all." She hesitated a moment before looking into his eyes. "Is being here bothering you already?"

"Here" was his old college town, where he had started his undergraduate work. It was also where he had been kidnapped and tortured for three days, barely escaping with this life. It was those memories he had come to confront, albeit against the advice of his therapist, who felt he was moving too quickly. Elise herself had her doubts, but she knew Brodi was strong enough and well grounded enough to know what he needed to do to heal. She also wasn't about to let him handle the situation alone. So, she had told Rahzel she was taking two weeks off, and the next day boarded a plane with Brodi headed for California; and now, here they were, in a hotel room with no set plans yet for how they were going to approach this. Brodi wasn't aware of it, but she had his therapist and his mother on speed dial, although she didn't know if that would be helpful or harmful in the long run.

Brodi turned his head slightly and kissed the palm of her hand, then leaned in and kissed her softly. "I'm fine, babe." He said after lingering on her lower lip for a torturous moment. "You know I need to do this."

Elise nodded sadly. "I know. I just keep thinking about what Andrea said."

Brodi flinched slightly at the mention of this therapist's name. Elise had come to a couple of sessions with him because she was closest to him and had seen him in the worst stages of the memory trauma. And, well, who were they kidding, the two of them had a sexual relationship together.

"Andrea?" he said, almost in disbelief. "Andrea's not happy with the way I'm dealing with this; I know that. She's a therapist. She'll cope."

"She's worried that it's too soon."

"Too soon?" Brodi stood and started pacing the room. "It was 10 years ago. How long should I wait?"

Elise stood and stepped in his way to get him to look at her. "She means since the stalking incident at the lodge." She stepped closer and rested her hands on his shoulders, sliding them down his arms before stopping at his elbows. "Honey, you've had a lot to deal with in the past year. You had a catastrophic injury; you've been very sick. You've been under extreme emotional stress…"

"I. Need. To do. This."

Elise drew him to her and wrapped her arms around him. "I know," she said simply, looking him directly in the eyes and holding his gaze. "I know you do. And that's why I'm here with you. You aren't going to deal with this alone."

She rested her head on his shoulder and just let herself breathe into him. They stayed like that for a moment, just holding each other and breathing together, content to be with one another with no other thoughts but of the person they were holding.

"Well," she said softly, punctuated with a soft kiss on the side of his neck as she released him. "what do you want to do first?"

His only response was to kiss her with an intensity that caused a shiver deep in her belly. She fell into it briefly, then pulled back and looked up at him.

"I meant," she said, grinning as he moved in for another kiss, "outside this room."

"Who says we have to leave the room?" he asked, kissing her too quickly for her to answer.

"Brodi," she managed the next time she let herself come up for air, but the thought was cut off as he picked her up and eased her back on the bed. Then, leaning over her, propped up on his forearms, Brodi leaned in for another kiss. She dodged it, but he seemed just as happy nibbling at her neck.

"Sweetie," she said between gasps of surprise and pleasure, "I don't want you to think I'm against this in any…in any way, but…oh god…but shouldn't we…shouldn't we…"

"Should we?" he asked teasingly.

She rested a hand alongside his neck. "Brodi, honey…"

Brodi stretched out on the bed beside her, head propped up on one arm, his other hand resting on her abdomen. He gazed at her lovingly for a moment, hand moving in slow, small circles.

"Elise," he finally began, "I don't know what's going to happen this week. But I do know that I will handle it better because you're here. And because of that, I really feel that we need to take a day just to ourselves first. We'll feel more rested and better able to handle whatever comes at us. So come on. Just one day to be together. I'm not putting anything off. I just want one day before I let them into my head again."

He hesitated briefly before continuing. "I want one day where I can be with you without you feeling like you need to take care of me."

"Brodi, I've told you before, honey. I don't HAVE to do anything."

"I know."

"I also told you the day that bitch showed up at the lodge, that I was going to see you safely through this."

"Elise, nothing matters but right now."

"I just want to make sure you understand…"

"I do," he whispered before he kissed her again. "I do perfectly."

This time he kissed, starting gently but not backing off so soon. He broke off only long enough to change position on the bed, and she finally gave up trying to talk and gave in to the flutter that started below her navel and moved quickly into and up her spine. She melted into him, held to him, pulled him to her as if she could breathe him in.

And this was how they spent the rest of their day. She let him take her to a place she seldom let herself go, a place where she had no control, where she completely surrendered herself. She gave herself totally, and she let the minutes turn into hours until she felt herself finally drifting off to sleep in his arms.


	2. Chapter 2

Elise woke once again in the early A.M., content and completely relaxed, oddly secure with the strength of the arm slung over her waist. The warmth of the body spooned up behind her left her feeling more "right" than she had in a long time, and she basked in the comfort of how easily her breath synchronized to his. Elise had never needed a man to feel comfort, to feel secure. But this…she felt like she could actually lose herself without losing her Self.

Having watched her mother spiral downward after Elise's father left, then watch her bounce back and forth between being Miss Independent and Miss Codependent, Elise vowed to never let a man define her or define herself by a man. She would have her sense of self, and she would not be tied down to any man. Men were friends and acquaintances at best, obstacles at worst. More often than not, they were obstacles.

A reporter once stated that Elise had been breaking hearts since she was sixteen, and her reputation as Ice Queen had begun. Her fate seem to be sealed when a pathetic excuse of a celebrity publicly blamed his drinking problem on her rejection of him, and from that moment she had embraced the title fully. Men were obstacles, and if the entirety of the straight gender was dumb enough to be distracted from a goal by a pretty blonde, so be it. She damned sure wasn't going to be dumb enough to let an opportunity pass her by.

Then Brodi came along. She had flirted with the hot young surfer at a pre-race event in Garibaldi. He was charming, and she was determined to disarm him, to get him so distracted that he lost focus in the race. She had seen him race. He was fast; he was good; he was focused. She should have taken a clue from his mala, from the yin/yang and Om symbols that often decorated his clothing; they were more than just decoration for him. As it would turn out, it was she who lost focus. He was charming and friendly, even winked at her when she blew him a kiss as they approached the starting gate. When the lights hit green and the buzzer sounded to release them, the boy was all business. She actually blew her own chances in the race; when she was ahead, she'd let him catch up to her and pass her, try to get at him with whistles and the occasional taunt. Nothing fazed him, and it was she who actually missed a jump she had intended to take, necessitating using a longer line. He smoked her, of course, and after the race she had followed him all the way back to his room afterwards to let him know that she had permitted him to win. His response? He kissed her hand (a favorite tactic of his) and invited her to dinner.

She would have said no. He had beaten her on her home turf; to make matters worse, he had beaten her in front of fellow countryman Psymon Stark. She had actually only accepted Brodi's dinner invitation because she had seen that lunatic Stark waiting for her to deal out his own taunts. Most days she could take as well as she dished, but she was in no mood that day, so she lingered at Brodi's door to give Psymon's short attention span time to get bored.

It worked. Psymon left, but she was stuck with a dinner date she didn't particularly want. Might as well have fun, she thought; besides, she had too much integrity to just stand him up. If she said she was going to do something, she did it. Something happened, though. She found that she LIKED Brodi. The sweet charm wasn't an act. He was sweet. He was intelligent, too, and could hold his own in a conversation with her (in fact, if she admitted it to herself, he could easily leave her behind if he wanted, and she was no slouch.) He listened to her when she talked, was actually interested in what she had to say. His eyes never wandered as if he thought her chest might suddenly proclaim the secret of life. He was polite to other women when he was with her, but he didn't turn his head every time a pretty girl, or even Marisol, walked by. In short, they became very close friends without smothering each other.

After about a year of friendship (well, OK, friendship-with-benefits), he had approached her about durable power-of-attorney. For medical reasons, he explained, since family might be difficult to reach in an emergency. He would do the same for her if she wanted, though he didn't expect her to if she wasn't comfortable with it. She had done it. Neither expected to ever have to use it; foolishness of youth, perhaps, because they did work in a high risk sports industry.

And they didn't have to use it, for at least three more years. Then Brodi's accident came about, and she had become, quite literally, his voice, his advocate, his lifeline. Then the domino effect: a near-fatal bout of pneumonia, a stalking incident and an ugly case of PTSD…well, suffice it to say, Elise and Brodi had seen each other through some turbulent and unpleasant times, and it was getting more and more difficult to say that Brodi was just a friend.

But maybe that's where her mother had gotten it wrong, Elise thought as she felt herself contentedly melting into Brodi's warmth again. Her mother was always looking for a man to save her. Elise wasn't out to be saved; in fact, she was rather stubborn on that issue. She had only begrudgingly developed a friendship with Brodi, and it turned out to be one of the best friendships she'd ever had. Maybe good, solid relationships started as good, solid friendships FIRST.

"Don't get ahead of yourself, girl," Elise warned herself silently. Brodi had been sick; very, very sick; deep healing had to happen on both physical and emotional levels. She mustn't let the trauma of nearly losing him cloud her thoughts, nor confuse the heightened emotion from the PTSD she was seeing him through with a higher level of friendship or relationship. She couldn't allow herself to become a constant rescuer. After all, didn't she often tease Brodi about this same thing, about what she called his white knight syndrome?

And yesterday…yesterday had come about because he had wanted to remind her how to be with him, to forget about the caretaking. It had been surprisingly easy to forget that he had been sick, almost frighteningly easy to forget that he had nearly died. It seemed, even, that he had been able to move beyond, at least temporarily, the horrible sexual trauma he had suffered. Maybe they were helping each other. Isn't that what a relationship is supposed to be, give and take, helping each other?

But no; she cut herself off again. Decisions like this were not to be made in a state of heightened emotion. And heaven knows he had turned her to jelly several times yesterday and through the night; who knows how that level of endorphin release was affecting either of them.

Maintain the status quo, Elise, she thought to herself. Brodi himself admitted he had no idea what would happen this week. Help him chase and confront his ghosts. Then move from there, wherever "there" wound up being.


	3. Chapter 3

Brodi slowly became aware of his surroundings as he awoke, and for the first time in a long time didn't feel the need to mentally "feel out" his surroundings. He was solidly anchored in the here and now; everything from the faint scent of vanilla lotion to the warmth and comfort of the beautiful angel he was holding…all of it told him he was right where he needed to be. Best of all, he felt absolutely no tension in her body, from the length of her back pressed against his stomach, to his forearm resting on her stomach, to her legs slung over his. Her breathing was calm and even, and so frequently matched with his he even wondered if she knew she was doing it.

He knew it had initially been intentional, although he only knew of that second-hand. Nate had taught her the technique (a fact that Brodi was ashamed to admit never ceased to amaze him) while Brodi had been comatose. Of course, Brodi was on a ventilator for part of that time, so Nate had taught Elise comeditation mainly to ease her anxiety. She and Brodi had later used it for his pain control and to help refocus his drug-weary mind. Nate had thankfully never told her about comeditation's main purpose: the Buddhist practice began as a way to ease the pain and fears of a dying patient. It had other purposes, at least a couple of them more cheerful and interesting, but it was first and foremost a transitional aid used to help the dying. Did Nate know this? Of course he did; he had used it himself to help himself and his dying mother. Odd practice for a Colorado rancher to pick up? Perhaps (and Brodi shamefully acknowledged stereotype prejudice here), but Nate had traveled the world, and like any good rancher knew how to make use of the tools at hand for whatever arises. Nate's natural instinct during Brodi's predicament was to fix it. However, since comas don't really fall within the realm of the rancher (or even army medical corpsman, and the man was that, too), the cowboy focused on what he could do: help Elise. Any benefit that was passed on to Brodi at that time was pure gravy.

Some would perhaps have been jealous of the friendship that Nate and Elise had forged, but Brodi was eternally grateful for it. In truth, he and Elise never cemented anything beyond a close friendship. Additionally, although the technique had probably helped amp up her OCD side, the fact that Nate cared enough to help really seemed to help Elise finally begin to feel that she was with family, and Brodi had a feeling that she'd never experienced that. She was still a cautious, Type-A, must-be-in-control commando, but she was learning to relax. In fact, Brodi doubted that the complete release of yesterday would have happened even six months ago.

The thought reminded him of the present. Now, Brodi. Here. This moment. This is all there is. Don't lose track of what is right in front of you.

Her breathing was still in-sync with his, but there was some small amount of tension sneaking back in. My poor angel, he thought. Struggling with herself even while sleeping. He kissed the back of her neck and pulled her in closer to him.

"Mmmmm" she said softly, then sighed happily. Still sleeping, but she was starting to wake up. Her breathing pattern always shifted when she was close to waking up. He'd let her tell him she was awake this morning, though. It always seemed to bother her that he could tell when she was waking up, so he'd let it slide today.

"Too late, hotshot," she said as she rolled over and kissed his collarbone. "I've been around you enough that I can tell when you're reading me."

Brodi laughed, then met her with a kiss. "Now who's the mind reader? Good morning, sweet one. Sleep well?"

She leaned up and nibbled on his ear playfully. "After a point, yes. A certain brute had way more stamina than I expected. But no worries. I enjoyed every delicious minute of it."

Brodi grinned. "Careful, absahna, or we won't make it out of the room again, today."

"Ooooh, twist my arm, gorgeous."

Brodi laughed out loud at that.

"Don't tempt me. However, we really should go get some breakfast. Otherwise we won't have the energy to do anything, regardless of what we decide to do."

"You seemed to have plenty of energy at 3 a.m."

"As I recall it was you that woke me up, my love."

"Mmmmm…maybe." She kissed Brodi then rolled on top of him, leaning in only for a quick kiss before sitting up and trailing her hands down his sides. "We can call a truce on that. I do remember that the shower was my idea. Hey, what time is it?"

Brodi angled himself to peer at the clock on the bedside table. "Almost 7. We've only been asleep a couple of hours."

Elise peeled herself off of him and headed for the shower. "We got enough sleep from time to time." She called over her shoulder. "Besides, I feel great. Let's go grab something to eat."


	4. Chapter 4

Brodi followed Elise into the bathroom and grabbed her playfully while she was adjusting the water temperature over the tub. That earned him a squeal from her and a gale of laughter.

"I meant, something to eat BESIDES me, you goofball." She giggled as her feet touched the floor again. "Now, what do you want for breakfast? Should we do room service? Is there some old college haunt that you're dying to get back to after all these years?"

A brief spark of a look passed over his eyes, and she realized that her last sentence had perhaps been worded poorly. Whatever it was, he covered it immediately with a smile and a kiss. Elise would let it go for now, though she had learned to be wary. She misjudged the meaning of a sudden look in his eyes once before and got herself thrown halfway across the room as a result; she hadn't realized she'd triggered a full-fledged flashback. Brodi would never hurt her, but when he was in that kind of state he had no idea what he was doing. It didn't appear to be happening now, but it paid to be aware.

"Well," he said slowly as he turned away from her and started washing his hands. At first she didn't think he was going to finish the sentence. She noted that he had turned only one knob: the water he was running over his hands was ice cold. Yup, definitely working to keep himself in the present. "I was thinking about this great little place that used to be on the boardwalk." He said finally. "Locally owned bakery, they do fantastic scones, breads, pastries…they are fantastic. If they're still there, we could…"

"Honey, it's OK."

Elise rested a hand on his forearm and reached across him to turn off the water.

"What?"

She took one of the hand towels and patted his hands dry, then held his hands in hers to warm them back up as she looked up at him.

"It's OK. I know you feel like you need to do this, so we're going to do it. The operative word here is 'we'. This is Elise, remember? I am here with you." She paused a moment to let her words sink in before she continued. " Now, I can hear the tension building in your voice. We're going to proceed slowly, OK? We'll play it by ear: one goal at a time. We spent the day in yesterday. Today, we're going to jump into the shower and then go have breakfast. We'll decide what we feel like doing after that. Deal?"

"Elise, I'm fine."

"Of course you are. And you were just running ice cold water over your hands because…?" Elise took a step closer and took Brodi's face in her hands, looking him directly in the eye. "You are fine, sweetheart. And we're going to keep it that way. Now, let's get to that shower before we waste all the hot water in the hotel."

Elise pulled back the curtain and liner and stepped into the tub, holding her hand out to him. He hesitated only briefly before he took her hand and stepped in beside her, replacing the curtain as he stepped fully into the spray. Because of what was weighing on both their minds, this wasn't their usual shower together. There was a fair amount of kissing, true, but it was followed more by just holding each other and even washing each other; much more sweet and tender than hot and sexy, but this worked just as well for them and to be honest both of them enjoyed it just as much. They read each other well, picked up on each other's needs well. Elise just hoped that the trend would continue as they progressed through the next two weeks.


	5. Chapter 5

"Brodi, this is FANTASTIC!"

It was just after 8am, and Elise was sitting with Brodi at an outside table in front of a boardwalk bakery named Kneadful Things. On Brodi's advice she had taken a fresh croissant with the bakery's own mixed honey-nut cream cheese. For a little while she could almost let herself feel like she was on vacation, not on this dark business they were on.

Brodi smiled triumphantly.

"Told you that you'd like it. And the mocha?"

"Pure, unadulterated heaven."

A breeze just then came in off the water, and Elise threw her head back to catch the most of it; the feel of it in her hair, on her skin; the smell of the ocean air; she made a mental note to make Brodi catch a few waves sometime before they had to head back. It would do them both good.

"Brodi? Brodi Ford? Impossible!"

Elise opened her eyes, startled by the sudden exclamation, only to see a pony-tailed, goateed man in is mid-50's standing at their table.

"Mark!" Brodi was saying. "How the heck are you? Elise, this is Mark Stevens, an old friend of the family. Mark, this is my gir…ah, good friend, Elise Riggs."

"Ah yes, Miss Riggs. I believe I've heard Brodi's parents mention you. They're quite fond of you, pretty lady, if I recall correctly, and their high esteem is not given lightly. It's a pleasure to finally meet you."

Elise smiled as he took her hand, but was still a bit taken aback. Thankfully Brodi came to her rescue.

"Now, Mark. Don't go stealing my thunder, pal. Care to join us?"

Mr. Mark Stevens looked from one to the other, apparently searching for a hint as to what his answer should be.

"Well," he said hesitantly.

"Please do." Elise offered as Brodi pulled out a chair and gestured towards it.

"Awww, why not? I can take a few moments for old friends. So what brings you kids to town? Isn't this the middle of the snowboarding season? That is what you're still doing, isn't it? Professional snowboarding?"

Brodi stole a glance at Elise before he answered.

"I guess Mom and Dad didn't tell you about my accident?"

Mark looked puzzled briefly, then accepted whatever train of thought he was following.

"Come to think of it, maybe they did. You'll have to forgive an old man, Brodi. I did come of age in the late 60's, you know." He winked at them playfully before continuing. "Yes, yes. I remember your poor mother being frantic. I knew you'd been hurt, but I didn't know it was that bad." Mark turned to Elise before continuing. "Brodi was the miracle child among our group of friends. Trish and Kurt had trouble getting him to this earth safely, and they were never able to have any more children. The boy was healthy as a horse when he got here, but it was such a difficult pregnancy and labor, and Trish had already had a miscarriage or two. I guess I just figured she was being overprotective when she was so anxious." Mark laughed to himself. "But then we were all the same way. Poor child had at least three sets of parents growing up, we all fawned over him so much."

"Now Mark," Brodi said teasingly, "no need to embarrass me in front of my friends. That's Mom's job."

"Your mother," Mark said as he shook his finger good-naturedly at Brodi, "did a damned fine job raising you. She was so scared when you went off to college. That's why I told her and Kurt that you could stay at my beach house—promised them I'd keep an eye on you. Now," Mark raised a hand to keep from being interrupted, "this boy has always had a good head on his shoulders, and I didn't hover. I never interfered, never made him feel like I was watching him. And I hope I was a good enough pretend uncle when you were growing up that you were comfortable coming to me if you needed anything."

Brodi smiled and clapped a hand on the pretend uncle's shoulder. "I did, Mark. I did."

Mark smiled. "Good."

"Mr. Stevens?"

"Mark, please, dear."

"Then, Mark? Do you still have the beach house? Brodi was going to show me some of his old haunts. I'd love to see it if we could."

"Why yes, dear, I do. You kids want to meet me there around lunch time? I have some people to meet this morning, but my entire afternoon is free."

Elise looked over at Brodi, who had gone a little distant. "Would you like to, Brodi?"

"Hmmm?"

"Would you like to meet Mark at his beach house? For lunch?"

"I could cook for you." Mark offered. "Haven't had anyone to cook for in a long time. Lunch, 12:30ish, you, me, and your pretty girl here?"

Brodi looked up from his tea.

"Oh yeah. Sounds great."

"Then it's settled. Still remember how to get there?"

"Of course."

Mark pulled a small steno notebook out of his khaki sorts pocket and scribbled something on it, then ripped the sheet out and handed it to Brodi. "My cell number," he explained as he stood up. "Call me when you're on your way so I'll know how to time lunch."

And with that, Mark Stevens sauntered off down the boardwalk.

"Well, he's definitely a character."

Brodi nodded while taking a sip of his tea. "Has been a friend of the family for as long as I can remember. I think Mom and Pop knew him when they were in college."

Elise smiled. "I think he has a bit of a crush on your mother. Can't blame him."

Brodi grinned mischievously. "Don't tell me you have a crush on my mother."

Elise smirked. "And if I did? I don't think I'd stand a chance against your father. Those two are obviously deeply in love."

Brodi stood, smiling, and offered Elise his hand. "Come on, Elise." He said, "Let's see what this day has in store for us."


	6. Chapter 6

The day was busy after breakfast. By 9:30 they had rented a car—they could walk just about anywhere they needed from their hotel, but they would definitely need a car for the 2 hour trek into the mountains to his parents' place. After the rental was completed, it was time for a little sightseeing. For a time the two of them looked around the many shops along the boardwalk, then they drove through the city where Brodi found the temple which housed the sangha Brodi had joined while attending school.

"It's beautiful," Elise whispered as they walked along the path lined with rock gardens, sand gardens, and various sculptures of dhayani Buddhas.

"This place saved me," he said quietly. "Not just after; it started before. If I hadn't been coming here before, I don't think I would have had the inner strength to keep going."

Elise had no need to ask before what. The event had been so traumatic, so shattering, that his entire life had been permanently divided into "before" and "after", she realized. She had no response but to lean her head on his shoulder.

"Afterwards," he continued, "if I couldn't sleep and there were no waves to surf, I'd come here. Only rarely would I go inside. More often than not I would sit out here and recite my mantra over and over. One of the monks would usually find me asleep in one of the gardens."

"What would they do?"

Brodi shrugged.

"Usually give me a cup of tea. The offer was synonymous with an offer to talk if I wanted to. They knew something had happened, but they didn't want to force me into talking. Normally just sitting with someone helped."

Elise kissed his shoulder and linked her arm through his. "I'm glad you had that, baby," Then, after a brief silence, "Is that why you wanted to come here?"

Brodi nodded. "Mostly I think I just needed to know it was still here, to know they were still doing good." He stopped and turned to her. "Would you like to go inside?"

"Can we?"

He nodded and approached the door. Together they removed their shoes on the steps and walked inside. No one was in the sanctuary, so Brodi fished a $10 out of his pocket and placed it in a bowl at the feet of one of the Buddhas.

"One dollar for every year that has passed," he explained. "It's not a lot, but it's a start, and they will put it to good use."

"But no one is here. What if someone steals it before one of the monks sees it?"

"If it is stolen, it will hopefully still fill a need somewhere," said a quiet voice from behind them.

They both turned to see a monk in traditional orange garb approaching. Brodi bowed, hands in prayer position at his heart. Elise followed suit.

"Namaste, my friend," Brodi was saying, "please forgive the intrusion. I attended sangha here many years ago and wished to repay, if humbly, some of the good this place has given me."

The monk returned the bow gracefully. "Namaste," he replied. "You entered with pure heart, so it is no intrusion. Your gift is appreciated, and your company is welcome. I am Ananda. May I offer you a drink, some food?"

Brodi and Elise introduced themselves and were led through the temple to the dining area, where they were treated to a cup of tea and conversation.

"Please stop in again before you finish your journey," Ananda told them as they were leaving. "Almost everyone is out this time of day, but I am sure if you return there will be someone who was here when you were attending, and would be very happy to find you well still."

Brodi and Elise thanked him for his hospitality and returned to their car.

"Are you disappointed? That no one you knew was there?"

"More relieved than anything, actually," he admitted. "Now, shall we head to the beach house?"

Elise put her hand over his as he pushed the key into the ignition.

"Honey, are you sure you're up to this?"

"Up to what? The beach house? I'll be fine. Nothing happened there. I'll be fine."

Elise smiled grimly. "OK, luv. But I don't know if you're trying to convince me, or you."

Brodi sighed and started the engine, handing Elise Mark's phone number so she could tell him they were on their way.


	7. Chapter 7

They pulled up at the beach house ten minutes later, at about 12:15. Mark was standing on the lawn as Brodi pulled the car up the drive underneath the house. It was not lost on Elise that Brodi maintained a blank expression as he stopped the car and opened the door. The blank look morphed into a smile as Mark approached and opened Elise's door for her.

"Hey kids! Glad you made it. Well, son, what do you think?"

Brodi looked up at the house and nodded approvingly. "You've really kept it up. Still renting her out?"

"Nope. Got tired of fixing damaged property. Nobody but family gets her anymore. Which means," Mark looked over the top of his sunglasses at Brodi, "that you have access to it too. You have my phone number now, so no excuses."

Brodi laughed. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Now, how about a tour?"

"Love it!" Elise exclaimed.

The entire house was on stilts, like every other house that faced the beach. The lower end was nothing but a cement floor housing an outdoor shower stall, a picnic table, a hammock, and a clothes line. For access from the underside, there were stairs leading up to the front door, which opened immediately into a huge den. There were no carpets, just hardwood floors (easier to sweep sand out, and less difficult than carpet in case of flooding, Mark explained.) Only the kitchen and bathroom had linoleum.

"It's all one level," Mark was saying to Elise, "Open-air plan, except for the bedrooms and bathrooms of course. There are four bedrooms, two bath, just down that hall."

The kitchen ad sliding glass doors which opened onto a small porch, which in turn hadits own private boardwalk leading to the beach itself.

The den contained a huge overstuffed sectional, powder blue print from the 80's, a matching overstuffed loveseat and a papas an chair, all arranged around a glass coffee table strewn with sea shells and magazines. Against the wall at one end was a large screen TV, DVC, stereo, and even a game system or two.

Brodi wandered off by himself while Mark talked to Elise. Neither had really noticed he was gone until they heard a crash coming from one of the back rooms. The two of them sprinted down the hall and opened the door to the room the sound had come from. Inside, they found Brodi on the floor next to the bed, convulsing.

"Brodi!" Elise shouted as she knelt next to him.

Mark started tossing pillows towards her. "Put these around him to make sure he doesn't hurt himself. I'll call an ambulance."


	8. Chapter 8

Brodi's "ghost hunting expedition", as he'd come to think of it, was going well, and by that he meant nothing had gotten into his head yet. At least, not until this morning.

He had already started calling this trip his personal ghost hunting expedition, at least to himself, when Elise had asked him about old haunts. It was an innocent, legitimate question, but he immediately felt his chest tighten. A flash of something, still abstract in his mind but clear enough to be recognized as pain, pure, physical pain. He was aware of Elise waiting for an answer, but he kept rubbing his wrists and searching his mind for what he couldn't quite grasp.

"Get hold of yourself, Brodi. Don't lose it here. Not already." He told himself. He turned on the sink…cold water. He forced himself to concentrate on the cold water running over his hands, forced himself to come up with an answer to her question. He heard himself answering her, but the words sounded foreign, cold, deliberate. He felt Elise reach across him and turn off the water, then he stood there like a child and let her dry his hands for him, let her close her smaller hands over is. He focused on her voice, tried to convince her he was OK.

Their shower together had finally cemented him firmly back in the present, and he relished every second of it. He had once been afraid that he would lose any chances with her if she found out about his past. He hated to let three days of his 29 years take up such importance, but when you entered a sexual relationship with someone, things were bound to come out. As it turned out, he took too long to tell her of his victimization and she accidentally triggered a major flashback. He could have hurt her, he realized, shuddering. Still, somehow, Elise had seen him trough it. She hadn't left him alone. Instead of running from the room, she took the time to patiently talk him down, talk him back into the present. Then, much to his surprise, the woman who abhors weakness held him all the rest of the night, and when she looked at him it was with love, not pity or disgust.

As with most things, when something really wants your attention, it keeps pushing itself in your face. The shower and the leisurely morning with Elise had relaxed him again, and he was just beginning to feel like he could let go for another day when Mark had walked by.

Mark: old friend of the family. The man had practically helped his parents raise him. And the beach house—he had to mention the beach house. Brodi had intended to visit sometime before he left, but it was all screaming, "now, now, now!"

Maybe it was that. Maybe it was the visit to the temple beforehand. Regardless, the theme of the day was definitely the ugly part of his past. Was Andrea right? Was he moving too fast?

No, this needed to be dealt with. He'd been thinking about this trip ever since Lauryll had shown up and Elise had told him, "The past isn't gone until you put it to rest."

So he was here to do just that. Still, it all seemed to be rushing forward in one day, not in tiny bits spread out over two weeks like he had planned.

As he pulled up under the house, all he could see was his buddy driving him home from the hospital. What was the guy's name….Steve. Steve driving him home, furious that Brodi had signed himself out of the hospital AMA after getting stitched up. Steve helping him up the stairs, Steve unlocking the door for him, Steve offering to go get food, to go get prescriptions filled, to go get the guy who had "mugged" him.

These thoughts consumed him as he walked up the steps of the house he hadn't been inside in ten years. He heard himself talking, knew he was interacting, saw Elise give him a curious glance once or twice, heard Mark giving Elise the grand tour.

But Brodi was already gone. He was wandering through the house a few hours after his escape, double and triple checking the locks on the doors, clearing the house. As he walked through the house, he could feel every painful step, every bruise on is body, could feel the residual energy of hours and hours of sleeplessness and refocusing and struggling, and even lying. Lying to his mother that he had the flu after exams. Lying to friends, the story of being mugged becoming second nature. Lying to himself that being sexually assaulted…sexually tortured…did not change who he was.

All of these emotions and memories rose as he walked through the house. He didn't bother to keep track of Elise's voice; he was too far gone for that to help him.

The bedroom. He was in his old bedroom. Hours and hours of nightmares, reliving every humiliating, painful, torturous moment in his dreams. No sleep, can't sleep. Too hot. Showers…keep taking showers. Are the doors locked? The windows? Did Mark actually get to all the doors and windows when he changed the locks? Did they know were he lived? Is that noise…them? Are they going to finish the job before it can be reported?

Brodi felt his heart beating faster as he looked around the room. Something was different. He needed to get his breathing under control. What was different? Something was out of place, something here that shouldn't be here. The room…too warm. Turning to leave…room spinning. White…everything going white. Then nothing.

Sounds of running, someone calling his name.

"Brodi!"

"I'll call an ambulance."

"No, wait!" That was Elise. "I think he's waking up. Brodi? Honey, what happened? Talk to me, baby."

No…can't get air. No air…must get outside.


	9. Chapter 9

"No, wait!" Elise called. "I think he's waking up. Brodi? Honey, what happened?"

Elise rested a hand on Brodi's shoulder. "Can you talk, baby? Say something."

Brodi bolted up, gasping for breath. She tried to push him back down, but he fought past her.

"Need air." He was saying.

He ran past Mark, who had been standing in the doorway, hand poised on the phone. Elise stayed clear for a second, then scrambled up and ran after him down the hall. She could feel the older man on her heels as she headed after Brodi. She heard the door open before she rounded the corner, and that spurred her on. She bolted through the kitchen and through the open kitchen door.

"Brodi!" she called as she hit full stride on the access. She looked up and down the beach. It was mid-afternoon on a weekday in off-season. There was practically no one around. If he hit the water and she couldn't bring him around…

"Brodi! Stop!"

He hit the sand, still in full stride.

"Brodi! You're scaring me!"

He broke stride, pulling himself up sort then collapsed to his knees. He didn't turn around as she approached, so she slowed to a walk, holding her hand out behind her to stop Mark from coming further as he caught up to them.

"Sweetie, I'm coming up behind you, OK? Just me."

Elise approached cautiously, not knowing if Brodi had managed to get hold of himself or if he had just happened to stop where he was. She didn't want to startle him or manage to get hurt herself. She walked around into his line of sight and sat down beside him, careful not to touch him.

"Brodi, can you tell me what's going on, honey?"

He sat back on his heels, his fists clenched at his side in the sand. His eyes were closed; he was concentrating on his breath.

"Couldn't breathe…" he said slowly. "Had to get out."

Elise nodded. "Ok, I understand. Can I just sit here with you for a minute?"

He nodded slowly, still without opening his eyes. "I'd like that," he said simply.

Almost painfully aware of Mark watching him from a distance, she scooted herself closer to Brodi, still careful not to touch him unbidden. They sat there side by side, watching the ocean waves, feeling the breeze. Elise was actually starting to relax when she noticed Brodi was starting to slump.

"OK, tiger, time to go back inside. How do you feel?"

Brodi's eyes were half open as he gave a small grunt of a laugh. "Tired," he answered.

"Mmmm-hmmm." She said as she stood and offered her companion a hand up. "Why don't we have some lunch and see how we feel from there?"

He didn't answer this time, but stood and nodded his acceptance. Cautiously she linked her arm in his and they started back towards the house. Mark met them at the top of the boardwalk accessway, and Elise noticed he still had the portable phone in his hand. Well, Elise wasn't entirely sure they wouldn't need an ambulance, but she was willing to let it slide for now as long as Brodi remained reasonable coherent.

"You kids ready for lunch?" he asked as nonchalantly as he could manage, though Elise picked up the concern in his voice.

"I think so," Elise said. "Can we borrow your shower to get the sand off?"

"Of course,"

"Good. You two go on inside, I'll grab some things from the car."

Brodi still hadn't said anything, so Elise wasn't entirely sure of his state of mind. Still, his eyes were clear and focused, so it was only with small reservation that she left Brodi alone with Mark. She grabbed their suitcases quickly and headed inside, where she found Brodi already in the bathroom. He was already undressing, so she pulled out clean clothes for both of them and started up the shower. When she turned back around, she found Brodi staring at his wrists again.

"Did you hurt your wrists," she asked as she moved forward and took hold of his hands. Big mistake, she realized as he tensed up at her touch. She braced herself, but nothing came of it.

"It was the blood," he said. "The metal cut into my hands after a while. There was blood."

Elise looked at his hands, then his meaning dawned on her. He had been handcuffed to a bed's railing. Elise gripped his chin gently and tilted his head towards her so she could look at his eyes.

"Sweetie? Are you…"

"I'm here, Elise. It's OK. I know where I am."

"OK." She said slowly. "Just stay with me, OK? You've been a little scary today."

Brodi hugged her tightly and kissed her neck. "I know," he said quietly. "I'm sorry. I'm trying to hold it together."

Elise pulled back and gripped his shoulders, holding him at arm's length. "Stop apologizing already. It's not your fault. Now, let's get in the shower and get this sand off of us so we can eat. Come on, into the shower with you."

It was almost an exact repeat of the morning. She stepped into the shower and held her hand out to him, and he followed her in. He seemed to relax as the warmth of the water hit him.

"God, that feels good." He sighed.

Elise moved around behind him and started massaging his neck and shoulders.

"There. You've got a good start. Just keep going with it. Let it go…just let it go."

It was as if the tension drained from him with the sand in the water. She was nearly ready to turn the water off when she felt him start to tense up again. It was then that she noticed he was rubbing his wrists again.

"Brodi? Honey, stay with me. Talk to me. Tell me what's going on."

"The scars have faded, but they're still there."

Elise sighed and gave his shoulder a squeeze as she backed him against the inside wall of the shower.

"Come on, baby. Do you feel the water on your arm? Concentrate on that. Hang on to the sound of my voice. Stay with me, babe." Then, "Damn it, it's being here, isn't it? It's the house. It's too much, too fast."


	10. Chapter 10

She reached over and turned off the water, then pulled back the curtain and grabbed a towel.

"The bed. In the bedroom I was in. It's the one."

Elise stopped rubbing her hair with the towel. "What?" she asked as she lifted the towel from her face.

"Get dressed. I'll show you."

"Brodi, how is that possible?"

Brodi sighed. "I don't know. But it is."

Now Elise wondered if Brodi's mind wasn't playing tricks on him. Nonetheless, she said nothing else as they got dressed. When they opened the door and stepped out into the hall they were met with wonderful smells wafting in from the kitchen. As they headed down the hall towards the kitchen, they heard voices.

"Sounds like we have company." Elise said.

Brodi had a strange look on his face, but Elise let it slide.

"Mark?" she called as she rounded the corner into the kitchen.

"Ah, here they are. Don, this is my godson, Brodi, and his friend Elise. They're visiting from up north."

Standing next to Mark was a tall, well-tanned gentleman of about 60—bald, wire-rimmed glasses, wearing khaki shorts and what appeared to be an original Metallica T-shirt. He stepped forward and extended his hand in greeting.

"Godson, eh? You've got one hell of a godfather here, son. What on earth were your parents thinking?"

He winked as he said this, and Mark burst out laughing.

"The boy grew up around me, Don. You won't shock him."

"Nice to meet you, sir," Brodi said as he shook the man's hand. Elise did the same.

"Please, call me Don. Now, I hear you had a fall. Mind if I have a look?"

Elise cast Brodi a confused look, and Brodi glared at Mark, who shrugged good-naturedly.

"Oh, didn't I mention? Don here is a neurosurgeon. Dr. Don Carroll."

"Neurosurgeon?" Brodi's smile faded fast.

"Look, bub. I hope you'll forgive me. But I knew we wouldn't be able to get you to a hospital unless we knocked you out and carted you in unconscious. Don is a friend, owns a house a few doors down. I called him and he offered to check you out."

"Mark, I'm fine."

"You had a seizure. Look, at least let him do it for the sake of my blood pressure. And my head if your father finds out that I knew you were sick and did nothing about it. Look, Don will tell us if you need further checking out."

"I don't," Brodi said as he walked over to the kitchen doors. He looked out at the ocean, leaning one arm against the door frame.

"It'll just take…" Don began.

"My name is Brodi Ford." Brodi said without turning around. "My mother's name is Trish. My father's name is Kurt. I'm in California with my friend Elise. The current US President is Barack Obama. I have lost no sensation in any part of my body, and, Mark, you've left the faucet dripping in the kitchen sink to my right, and there's a clock to my left on the wall by the door." Brodi turned around and leaned against the counter, crossing his arms in front of him. "Self, relationship to others, time and date recognition, hearing, spatial relationships. Did I miss anything?"

Don raised an eyebrow in amazement. "I, uh, don't think there's anything wrong with him, Mark."

"His eyes also dilate and track together," Elise offered. "He had a concussion last year, so he's been through a neuro exam before." She continued. "And I know what to look for."

There was an awkward silence, until Mark spoke up again.

"I'm sorry, kids. Just trying to watch out for you. Hey, Don has a son about your age, Brodi. Bet you two went to school together.

Brodi froze. Now it was his turn to try to be nonchalant. "Oh?" he asked.

"You did undergrad here?" Don asked in return.

"Freshman year. Transferred to Cal State Monterey the next year. Who's your son?"

As if we didn't know, thought Elise. She tried to gauge Brodi's emotions, but he wouldn't look at her.

"Coby," Don said. "Coby Carroll. Dated a really sweet girl named Lauryll for a while."

Elise closed her eyes. This was not good. This was SO not good.

"No," she heard Brodi say. "Don't believe I ever ran across him."

Elise opened her eyes in surprise.

"Well," Don was saying, "It's a big school. If you stayed here that year, though, I'm surprised we didn't meet you."

Brodi shrugged. "I kind of stayed to myself that year, only hung out wit a few people on any regular basis. You know how it is, first year away from home, testing the waters."

Don laughed. "Wish I could say the same for my son. He hit a wild streak when e hit college. Stayed in trouble more than he stayed in class. But I guess we all rebel at some point."

"Guess so," Brodi said. "Hey, Elise, will you help me get the suitcases back in the car?"

"Don't forget about lunch, kids. Will you join us, Don? Rice and curried vegetables. Made a salad too."

"No, no. I'll let you guys catch up. Listen, I know you're not happy that Mark called me over, but try not to be too hard on him. He was just concerned. Truce?"

Brodi shook the man's extended hand. "No worries. And thank you."

"OK. I'll take my leave then. You get to the hospital and get checked out if that happens again."

"Deal."


	11. Chapter 11

Elise couldn't help but think that Brodi seemed to visibly relax when the doctor left. However, no sooner had he left than Brodi took off down the hall, towards the bedroom where he'd had his seizure. Mark started after him, but Elise held up her hand.

"You…finish lunch. I'll go."

Elise entered the bedroom to find Brodi shoving the mattress and box spring aside.

"Brodi, what…"

"Here," he said. Elise looked where he was pointing. "This side of the frame, where the box springs fit in. Do you see it?"

"Yes. But what am I looking at?"

"My own personal torture chamber," he said through clenched teeth. "See the scuff marks on the metal, the rust where it's oxidized?"

Elise swallowed. "Yes." She said nervously.

"Jumper cables from a home-made electrical torture device made those."

Elise went pale and felt a knot growing in her stomach. "Jesus." She whispered.

"And the head of the bed," he gestured. She looked, but it looked like an ordinary cheap metal pipe head for a bed frame.

"The dent," he said, pointing to the right side. "The thing's been repainted, but the dent is still there."

"I see it," Elise said, but she still wasn't completely understanding.

"I made that dent," he spat, "trying to get that pipe loose to get the handcuffs free. That's how I knew this was the bed."

"Hey kids, soup's on!" Mark called as he poked his head in the room.

"Where did you get this bed," Brodi asked as he stood and started stalking towards Mark. Alarmed, Elise stepped in between them.

"What? That bed? I don't…"

Brodi pushed forward as Elise placed her hands on Brodi's chest and tried to push him back.

"I spent three days handcuffed to that bed being tortured and drugged," he yelled. "Why do you have it? Where did you get it?"

"Brodi, STOP!"

Mark was against the wall now, and Elise was effectively sandwiched between them. She kept trying to push him back, but he was beyond being rational.

"Brodi, are you sure?"

"He's SURE! Jesus, Mark, don't make this worse! I'm trying to calm him down!"

"Answer my question." Brodi growled.

"It was some furniture left behind from another renter at a property I have up the road. When did this happen, son? My God, what in hell did they do to you?"

Brodi paled. "Another renter? How far up the road?"

Mark shrugged. "A few blocks up. The boy skipped out on rent suddenly. I put the furniture in storage for a while in case the kid came back and made good, but when the old bed that you remember in here gave out, I brought it out. It was 9, maybe 10 years ago."

"It was 10," Brodi said quietly. All his anger seemed to leave him and he stopped struggling against Elise. Elise still wasn't quite ready to draw and easy breath; she stopped pushing on Brodi, but she kept her hands on his chest.

"Brodi?" she asked cautiously as he pulled away from her. He paced the room once or twice but said nothing. Then he stood for a moment in the middle of the room looking lost.

"I, uhm. I need some air. I'm going for a walk."  
"Why don't I come with…"

Brodi stopped as he passed Elise. "No, I want to go alone. I'll be OK. I just…I need 15 minutes."

Elise sighed. "OK. 15 minutes. But if you're not back here in 20, I'm coming to find you."

"Fair enough." He said as he gave her shoulder a squeeze and walked past.


	12. Chapter 12

Elise watched Brodi disappear down the hall then heard the sliding door open and close. She looked around the room at the chaos, and, not knowing what else to do, walked over to the bed and pushed the mattress and box springs back into their niche. Suddenly she remembered Mark was still in the room. She scanned the room for him, and found him still backed against the wall, looking stricken.

"Come to the kitchen with me and I'll explain," she said softly as she straightened the last of the bed clothes and started down the hall.

In the kitchen she calmly filled a teapot with water and turned on the stove as she waited for Mark to join her. The older man walked in and pulled out a chair at the table. Elise joined him while waiting for the water to heat.

"I, uh, I'm sorry for my reaction. But I've never seen that boy lose it like that."

Elise nodded. "It's OK. I'm sorry you had to see it. It's been really tough for him recently."

Mark looked through the kitchen door where Brodi had left, then back to Elise. "What in hell happened? WHEN did it happen?"

Elise started telling the story of his kidnapping, careful with the details. The man had a right to know why such extreme events had happened in his home, to a person he cared about, but she still felt a need to protect Brodi's privacy. To some extent she also felt she needed to protect Mark from the knowledge of the sheer brutality of the attack, as well. Even so, when she finished, he sat there looking stunned.

"Three days," he murmured distantly, then his eyes went wide. "Oh my God. I remember Trish calling me begging me to check on him because she hadn't been able to get in touch with him for three days. He was here when I checked on him…said he'd had the flu after exams and had been sleeping a lot. He was walking like moving hurt, but the flu can do that to you. I did ask about some bruises I saw…he told me he'd fallen because he'd been weak and delirious with fever. I didn't question his answers…he'd never lied before."

Then another realization hit him.

"That bed? One of my renters? You mean someone I rented to…I told his parents I'd watch out for him."

"Hey, hey, relax. Brodi doesn't blame you."

She stood as the teapot began to whistle, and started pouring the boiling water over chamomile flowers.

"But why him? He's always been such a good kid. Who'd want to hurt him like that?"

Elise shrugged as she sat 3 mugs aside to steep. "Does violence ever have a rationale?"

Mark sighed. "Jesus." Then, "Why didn't he tell any of us what really happened? Surely he didn't think we would blame him or not support him?"

"I didn't."

They both looked up as Brodi walked in through the door. Elise got up quietly and emptied the chamomile flowers from the cups, sweetened them with honey, and placed all three mugs on the table.

"I just…mostly wanted to protect Mom." Brodi said as he sat down. "I didn't want to hurt her."

"Your mother is a strong woman, son." Mark said gently as he reached across the table and rested a hand on Brodi's forearm. "She would have been upset, but not AT you. She could have supported you. Hell, we ALL could have."

"You DID. Don't you see? If it hadn't been for you, and for Mom and Pop, there's no way I could have handled the aftermath. You said it yourself, Mom and Pop weren't my only parents. You all helped teach me how to live, and how to be alive."

Brodi hesitated for a moment as he took a sip of tea. "I grew up very loved. There was no room for hatred…self-hatred or any other form."

Mark rubbed his palm on his forehead. "So if you're doing so well, what was this afternoon all about?"

"I did VERY well for 10 years, Mark."

"So what changed?"

Brodi shrugged. "I don't know. Almost dying? I've always had my health, and my health is taking the slow road to recovery. I took it for granted."

"Speaking of," Mark said suddenly as he stood up and pulled a giant bowl out of the fridge. "You two still haven't eaten. If your eating patterns fall like this often, it's no wonder you're not healing more quickly. Grab some bowls and load up on salad. Spinach greens, tomatoes, radishes, cucumbers, heart of palm. Couldn't remember if you were vegetarian or vegan, so I left off the cheese. If you want, I have shredded cheddar and feta."

"Thanks, Mark, but…"

"Eat. Don't make me call your mother. Eat as much as you want, I'm going to reheat the curry."

Brodi and Elise both laughed as Mark handed them bowls and started shoveling out salad.

"Now," he said as he started the stove back up for the curry. "What are your plans for the rest of the day?"

Elise looked over at Brodi. "What about it, babe?"

Brodi shrugged. "Thought we might head to the mountains. That is, if you like, Elise."

"Well, I don't like it," Mark said. "You've both had an exhausting day. Stay here tonight. Head to your mom's in the morning."

"We'll be fine."

"No, seriously." Mark said. "It's not a good idea. You're in no shape to drive right now, and Elise will get lost. Your parents' place is nearly impossible to find if you don't know exactly where you're going, and that's in broad daylight. And if it's the bed,"

"It's not."

"I've already decided it has to go. I'm taking it to Goodwill or some such. I don't want it in my house."

"Mark, really, it's OK."

"It is NOT OK." Mark said sharply, banging his fist on the counter. "That bed was used to harm someone I care about, and I'll be damned if it's staying in this house another night.. It's worse than if someone was raped on it."

Elise dropped her fork, and Brodi's fist tightened, but he took a deep breath and seemed to get hold of himself. Mark didn't seem to notice anything amiss.

"Now, you two eat up," he said as he spooned out the vegetables and curry. "I promised you lunch, and you're going to get lunch."

Elise thought she saw a tear in Mark's eye, but he turned away quickly and busied himself filling glasses of ice water. He seemed fine again by the time he sat back down with them.

The rest of lunch passed without incident, with Mark turning on the full charm regaling Elise with stories of Brodi as a young boy.


	13. Chapter 13

Lunch ended with no further event, and after the dishes were cleared away the three set about taking the offending bed apart. Elise was concerned about the effect it might have on Brodi, but he actually seemed to be energized by dismantling the thing. It was almost as if he was tearing down a piece of the horror from that time in his life. After it was completely dismantled, they loaded it into the back of Mark's truck. He then took off for town, leaving Brodi and Elise to relax in any way they chose in his absence.

"Can I ask you a question?" Elise asked as they snuggled up in the hammock together.

"You know you can."

"Why did you tell Dr. Carroll that you didn't know his son?"

She heard Brodi sigh and wondered if she should have left the question unasked. He gave her a squeeze and kissed the top of her head before answering.

"He seems like a nice guy," he said at last. "If I told him I knew is son, I'd either have to pretend to care what he's up to nowadays, or let him know that his son is, or was, a sadistic monster."

"Was?" she asked, surprised.

"Who knows what the last 10 years have brought," he said. "Maybe the guy changed. I know he stole drugs from his father's office and seemed to have no love lost for the man. If they've mended their relationship, it's a better outcome than the direction it was headed in." He heaved another heavy sigh and wrapped both arms around her. "Everyone deserves second chances. His life is nothing I need to interfere in."

Elise lifted herself up a moment and kissed him deeply. When she pulled back, he looked at her in surprise.

"What was that for?"

"I just felt like it. You are incredible, and I love you for it."

She settled back down comfortably in his arms and they sat in silence for several moments.

"Hey," he said suddenly, "the wind is picking up. I'm sure Mark as a couple of surf boards tucked away in the storage closet down here. Want to catch a few waves?"

She looked up at him in surprise, and saw a bit of the old boyish gleam in his eyes.

"You're on." She said, sitting up so quickly she nearly toppled them out of the hammock. He caught her, laughing, and they both set foot on the floor safely.

"OK. Go get changed. I'll get the surfboards out and I'll be right behind you."

She laughed, relieved at the change in mood, and stole another kiss before dashing up the stairs to change.


	14. Chapter 14

True to his word, Brodi was right behind her. She was already in her bikini by the time he reached the bathroom they were changing in, and when she looked up, he was leaning against the doorway smiling at her.

"What?" she asked as she finished tying the bottoms on.

"You are an absolute goddess." He said as he came forward and swept her up into a hug.

"Well," she said, laughing, "make yourself useful to your goddess and tie my top for me. I can't seem to reach it."

They both knew that she could, in fact, reach it, but she loved the feel of his hands on her back, and the fact that he always pulled her back against him when he finished tying the top, nuzzling her neck. It was just one of the rituals that she had come to enjoy with him.

After he was dressed, they headed back downstairs. Brodi inspected both boards for safety, and they headed out to see what kind of waves they could catch.

The winds were just right. Time after time they paddled out right into the arms of the perfect wave. Brodi seemed to be having a blast, and Elise could see from watching him where he got his distinctive boarding style. He was so fluid it really was difficult to tell where the wave stopped and he began. Finally, though, completely and happily exhausted, she suggested they go back in.

"Mark should be back soon," she stated. "He'll wonder where we've gotten to, and we've left the house unlocked."

"He always leaves it unlocked," Brodi said. "Come on. Just one more wave. Who knows if we'll have the chance again before we go back to the frozen north."

Brodi winked at her, and she found she couldn't resist the boyish charm that he always seemed to know exactly when to turn on.

"OK," she relented. "Just one more. Last one back in cooks dinner. And cleans up. Mark and I will watch a movie while you finish up."

Brodi grinned. "Oh, you're that sure, are you?"

With that he ran back into the water and started paddling out for the next wave. Elise was close behind him. She had trouble keeping up with him, but reminded herself that he'd gotten a head start. Just find the wave and go with it, she thought. So, she sat on her board and waited. She didn't have long to wait. The next wave came up fast, and

when it wave came, it was the biggest wave they'd had all afternoon. She was already up and riding with it when her side cramped and she lost her balance. Total wipeout; she went under and was tossed with the wave. She knew better than to try to surface; she was jostled around so much she had no idea which way was up, and could inadvertently be diving further under. Better to ride the wave, she thought, just ride with it, rather than come up with a mouth full of sand when she was expecting air. The wave was heading for the shore, it was bound to spit her out there sooner or later.

Finally she felt sand underneath her, the familiar feel of it rushing back out as the wave started to recede. She turned her head against the wave to keep water from getting in her nose, and waited for the water to wash over her, and came up sputtering as enough water finally cleared for her to safely breathe.

"Elise!"

Brodi hit the sand beside her and pulled her up and to his chest. She could feel his heart pounding as she rested her head on his shoulder, coughing. "Thank God! I saw you go down. I dove for you but couldn't find you. You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

Elise let him hold her for a minute then sat back, still trying to catch her breath.

"I'm OK." She said. "If I've learned anything from you it's not to panic." She looked at him, then squeezed his hand. "Hey, relax! It's not the first wipeout I've had. I'm OK."

He hugged her close to him again. "I don't know what I'd do without you." He said, just before leaning down and kissing her.

They kissed heavily for several minutes, Elise feeling the familiar stirring and the chill moving up her spine. When their hands started wandering, though, Brodi pulled back.

"Uhm, I hate to be a buzz kill, but sex on the beach is not nearly as much fun as people make it sound like."

Elise smirked. "Why, Brodi…"

"Sand, my beauty. It really does get EVERYWHERE."

Elise laughed out loud in spite of herself.

"OK, sweetie. Let's go get this sand off of us and go inside."


	15. Chapter 15

Mark was just getting back by the time they stepped out of the outside shower.

"Well, I see you two found my surf boards. Actually, I think one of them is yours, bub. How are the waves?"

"Pure perfection," Elise said as she dried herself off. She draped her towel over the clothes line and turned around just in time to be handed a canvas bag loaded with groceries.

"I picked up some things for dinner. Can I get you to run these things up as you're going in while I borrow Brodi for some manual labor?"

Elise laughed. "Of course. I'm sure he could use the workout."

She took the bag and gave Brodi a quick kiss on the cheek before running up the steps and into the house. The two men watched her disappear and stood there transfixed for a moment after she was gone.

"Wow." Mark said at last. "I don't know where you found her, kid, but I definitely approve."

Brodi grinned and sighed. "Yeah. She's something special, all right. But don't get the wrong idea. We're just friends."

Mark pulled his sunglasses down on the bridge of his nose and glanced at Brodi over the top of the frames. "Mmm-hmm. Tell me another one."

"OK. Now you're starting to sound like Mom. What do you need me to do, boss?"

Mark laughed as he walked around to the rear of his truck and pulled down the tailgate. "All right, I get the hint. I'll leave you alone. But take my advice, kiddo…you don't want to let that one slip through your fingers. Now, I bought a bed while I was out. Can you help me get it inside?"

"You bought a bed. Already? You have three other bedrooms up there." Brodi said incredulously.

Mark shrugged. "Can't stand the feel of an empty room."

While Mark pulled the mattress to the edge of the bed, Brodi ran up the stairs and opened the door, locking the hydraulic spring open. Then the two of them carried the mattress and box springs up into the house, then the pieces of the frame. This one was a sleigh bed, with intricately carved headpiece and foot.

"Wow. And I thought I knew how to shop." Elise exclaimed, walking out of the kitchen as the two men carried in the last piece. She had already changed back into her denim shorts and a purple cami, and Brodi nearly dropped his end of the headpiece when he saw her. Elise winked at him as he quickly regained his balance; once again Mark didn't seem to notice. They placed it in the hall with the rest of the bed pieces, then Brodi went and collapsed on the sofa while Mark unlocked the hydraulics and closed the door. As he walked back in and sat down on the papasan chair, he looked over at Brodi and chuckled.

"Sorry, bub, this house was built before elevators were common place in residential homes."

Elise walked over to the sofa and sat down, sliding over and resting her feet on Brodi's lap. Without thought Brodi began massaging her feet and legs. Again Mark laughed out loud.

"She's got you trained, bub."

Brodi looked irritated, but took a deep breath before he spoke.

"She sat in the hospital with me for over three weeks." He said quietly. "Not to mention everything else that she's helped me with. I hardly think this is out of order."

"OK, OK…I'm sorry. Just teasing you, kid…no harm meant."

Elise sat up and folded her legs underneath her. "That's a beautiful bed," she offered in an obvious move to change the subject. "Where did you get it?"

"Local furniture store. I've had my eye on the bed for some time, but didn't really have room so couldn't justify the purchase."

"It's fantastic." She said.

"Well, you two will be the first ones to test drive it tonight. You, uh, are still spending the night, yes?"

"Yes, we'll stay," Brodi said. Then, turning to Elise, he added, "Less than a day in this man's company and already I feel like I'm 12 again."


	16. Chapter 16

"You're an eternal boy, anyway," Elise teased as she leaned forward and gave him a playful kiss. Then she stood and elongated herself into an elegant stretch.

"Is there something we can do to help prepare dinner?" she asked. "I'd have offered to start something already, but it looks like you bought enough food to feed half of Canada; wasn't sure what you had planned."

"No, no. I want you two to relax. I might borrow Brodi for a little more manual labor, though. That is, if you'll help me put the bed together."

Brodi laughed. "You're putting us up for the night and feeding us dinner. I'd be a terrible guest if I said no."

"Well, old man, if you're rested enough, meet me in the bedroom. I'll get my tools and be right in behind you. Elise, make yourself at home, dear. This shouldn't take long."

Elise sighed and picked up the nearest magazine and started thumbing through it while the boys went off to lug the heavy equipment. Part of her felt that she should be offended at being treated like, well, like a girl. She knew damned well that she was probably stronger that Mark. Brodi, well that was another story entirely; he was about her age, and now that he was getting healthier again he was pretty much strong as an ox; no fair comparison there, but she could still handle her own. At the same time the practical part of her realized she had nothing to prove. Besides, Mark probably wanted to have a fatherly talk with "Bub" (and Elise silently made a mental note to tease Brodi about that later.) She could let them do their male bonding thing, she thought to herself as she watched the boys carry the bed pieces on down the hall. Then she sat.

She flipped through every magazine on the coffee table, but not one of them contained anything to interest her. Finally she decided to go down to the car and retrieve the book she had been reading on the plane. She was digging through the trunk trying to remember which bag she had stuffed it in when she heard a car pulling up behind her. She turned around just as Kurt Ford beeped the horn of a lime green 1976 Impala. The land yacht had barely stopped moving before Trish jumped out of the passenger side and ran towards Elise.

"Elise! My darling girl! How are you?"

Elise was swept up in an exuberant hug as Trish wrapped her arms around the younger woman in a tornado of long swirling skirts and jingling bangle bracelets. It took Elise a moment before she remembered to hug back, and by then Kurt had shut off the engine and was walking towards them.

"Don't break the girl, Trish. I think she's a little bit stunned. How are you, sweetheart?"

"Kurt. Trish. I'm…well, you're right, I am stunned. Uh, Brodi and I were going to drive up tomorrow and surprise you. How did you know we were here?"

Trish shrugged. "Mark called us. Said Brodi had gotten sick and said it would probably be better if we drove down here rather than the two of you trying to make it into the mountains. Where is Brodi?"

"He's inside with Ma…oh, he's at the top of the steps."

Elise had turned around to point up to the front door only to see Brodi standing on the landing at the top. His expression unreadable, Brodi was walking down the steps, with a sheepish-looking Mark behind him. Trish ran and met her son halfway up, his hug no less exuberant than the one Elise had been treated to. It was sweet, but an odd sight. Brodi already towered over his mother, and she looked like a child hugging him while standing a step below him.

"Brodi! How are you, angel?" Trish held her son at arm's length and looked him up and down. "Mark, he doesn't look sick. A little tired maybe…"

"Mom…Pop. Don't think I'm not happy to see you, but, what are you doing here?"

Brodi turned around and gave Mark a pointed look before he returned his attention to his parents and gave his father a hug.

"Thought we'd save you the trip up, son." Kurt said simply. "Heard you might be a little under the weather."

"I see," said Brodi, giving Mark another meaningful look. Elise could only guess at the discussion that had gone on before the two of them had come outside. "Where on earth did you get that idea?"

"Guys, this is a fascinating conversation, but do you think maybe we could go back inside instead of hanging out on the stairs?" Elise said as she came up behind Kurt. "Brodi, I'm sure your parents are exhausted, and I for one would love to hear Mark's side of this story." Now it was Elise's turn to give Mark The Look. "Besides, I'm getting a little hungry for dinner. Shall we?"

Elise squeezed her way past the crowd on the stairs and went inside, not waiting to see if anyone was going to follow her.


	17. Chapter 17

Elise didn't know why the sudden arrival was making her feel anxious. She loved Brodi's parents, so she wasn't exactly sure what she was upset about. She wasn't even really sure that she WAS upset., or if that was even the word for what she was feeling.

She just knew that this all seemed to be happening too fast. They had planned two weeks to delve into this mess in little chunks; even then Elise knew it was going to be intense, and had no idea what the aftermath was going to be like as they returned home, what there would be to deal with there. Since they had arrived, however, aside from the one day they took to themselves, his entire painful past had come rushing at him demanding to be dealt with. It just all seemed so unfair.

She went into the kitchen and filled the teapot with water. She didn't even look around when she heard the door open, figuring it was just the others coming in, but busied herself with wiping down the already immaculate counter.

"Anything I can help with?" came a soft voice from behind her. Elise turned around to see the house empty except for Trish.

"Ah, no. Just making some tea. Want some?"

Elise continued wiping down the counter until Trish approached and gently rested a hand on top of hers, stopping the movement.

"I think it's clean."

Elise didn't look at Trish, but she could feel the older woman's eyes on her.

"Honey, did our arrival upset you?"

Elise shook her head. "No, not at all."

"Then what? What's wrong, sweetheart?"

Trish walked over to the kitchen table and sat down. "You can talk to me. I made the others stay outside."

Elise sighed and sat down at the table facing Trish, the dishtowel still in her hands. Trish reached over and took the towel from her, so Elise just leaned forward and held her head in her hands.

"I'm just worried, Trish. This is all happening too fast. We were supposed to take this in small chunks, and we didn't think it was going to all come rushing forth at once. It's like a bratty child demanding attention."

Trish reached across the table and rested a hand on Elise's elbow. "Trauma doesn't behave the way we want it to, Elise. If it did, we'd keep it as far away from us as possible."

Elise sighed and looked over at Trish. "How much do you know, Trish?"

Trish shrugged. "Only what Mark told me. You two arrived here, he was talking to you in the kitchen when Brodi had some sort of seizure in one of the bedrooms."

Elise shook her head. "No, Trish. How much do you KNOW."

Elise thought she saw Trish blanch a bit, but she recovered quickly from her surprise at the question. There was a jingle of bangles as the small hand pushed back some unruly spiral curls from her eyes, and then Trish's blue eyes settled on her. She was blinking back tears, but her voice was steady when she spoke.

"Brodi told me…he told me that he had come down with the flu during his final exams, that he had just slept through my phone calls."

Elise nodded. "He said as much. He still thinks you don't know." Elise hesitated a moment before she continued. "He's wrong, isn't he?"

Trish shook her head. "He's not wrong. It's just easier for him to think that I believe his flu story. Somewhere deep down he knows that I know. I don't know the details, of course. But a mother knows when that kind of wounding happens to her own child."

"Tell me what you know, Trish."

Trish closed her eyes and took several even breaths. "I know he was…" she caught a sharp breath, then forced her breathing to become slow and even once more. When she spoke again, her voice was calm. "I know he was raped. I know he was beaten…I know what he told Mark about falling. What I don't know is why he didn't come to us. Why he didn't let us know. Why he didn't feel like he could trust…"

"Trish.." Elise interrupted. "It had nothing to do with his not trusting you. He just wanted to protect you. Believe me, I know details I wish I didn't know; things that he probably wouldn't have told me, except that I accidentally triggered a flashback for him"

"Oh, Elise…"

"It took me ten minutes to talk him down from it, and it was another 15 before he'd let me touch him. Trish, trust me, he only wanted to protect you from that kind of knowledge. He's really dealt with it all very well, and it's in large part to the way you and Kurt raised him."

Trish got up as the teapot began to whistle, and calmly got out two mugs and two tea strainers. Elise watched her fill the strainers with more chamomile and pour the boiling water over them. Finally she returned to the table, leaving the mugs on the counter to steep.

"Then what's got this coming up again ten years later?" she said finally. "Something had to have triggered it. You both look completely exhausted, and I know a fake smile on my son when I see it."

"He's had a rough year, Trish. You know that."

Elise reminded her of the hospital stay, of the pneumonia, then told her about the stalking incident back at the lodge. Trish sat, aghast, as she listened to Elise recount the entire incident, from the moment Lauryll showed up to the stabbing incident.

"So we have Nate to thank again. He really came through on that one. Still, after she showed up, Brodi's having flashbacks 3, 4 times a week now, not to mention nightmares. I even had to have Nate come help me once when Brodi flashed so badly I was afraid he'd hurt himself."

"Oh, which reminds me…" Trish began as she got up again to remove the chamomile flowers from the tea. She sweetened both mugs with honey, then sat one in front of Elise before sitting down again with the other one for herself. "I talked to Rahzel after Mark called us. He's going to send Nate down to help us."

Elise blinked. "Nate? Help us do…what, exactly?"

Trish took a calm sip of her tea before looking back at Elise. "I want to do a healing ritual that might help calm things down a bit. It'll be intense, though, and I'll feel better with Nate here."

"WHAT?" Elise stood and started pacing the room. "Trish, Brodi will FLIP. You have to trust me on this. The Zen master is on the verge of losing his Zen; he's barely holding on by a thread. We CANNOT humiliate him like this."

"Elise, please sit down, honey. I'm not going to humiliate him. You know Nate is the best choice in this."

"That's not the point."

Elise stopped in front of the kitchen door and looked out over the ocean, taking a few deep breaths herself before she continued.

"Trish, this is going to be difficult for you to hear, but I'm going to put it out there as is."

"Go on."

"A woman and two men kidnapped, drugged, raped, and tortured your son over a period of three days. He barely escaped with his life, and he's spent the last ten years dealing with the aftermath. He had no choice in what was done to him. But he got through it, he managed to get away, and he chose to live. We cannot take away his choice in how he heals. If we do that, we're just hurting him all over again."

Trish buried her head in her hands, the blond spirals cascading forward as she leaned into the table. She looked frail, fragile, and Elise immediately softened. She walked over to the woman and rested a hand on her shoulder.

"Trish, I'm sorry," she began softly. "I'm sorry I put that out there so coldly. You know I have nothing but respect and love for you; I saw what you did in the hospital. I don't understand it, but I saw it and I know that SOMETHING happened in that hospital room while you were doing your thing. But I really feel that if we spring this on him, force him to do what WE might think is best for him, we'll just be finishing the job those creeps started years ago. This is all happening way too fast. Way too fast."

Elise felt a shudder under her hand, then Trish reached up and patted Elise's hand. She then threw her head back and took a deep breath to calm herself.

"You're fine, honey. I understand what you're saying. But let me approach Brodi with this. I won't force him to do anything, I'll just put it out there and let him decide. I know that he's upset that Mark called us, but since we're here we might as well explain what we want to do. Now, how about we put this out of our minds for the time being and let the boys in."

"Do you need a minute?"

Trish shook her head. "No. You?"

"I'm fine. Now, shall we?"


	18. Chapter 18

That afternoon was tense, to say the least. Everyone tried to behave as though nothing was out of place, as if this was just a family vacation. All the same, Brodi made it abundantly clear to Mark that he felt that he and Elise should have been told that Trish and Kurt had been called and were on their way. Brodi tended to trust people easily until he was given a reason not to trust. With someone that he'd known as long as he'd known Mark, that trust was not easily shaken, but given Brodi's precarious mindset, his trust in Mark had definitely experienced a tremor or two.

It was for that reason that Elise was nervous about her own standing with Brodi. She had promised Trish that she wouldn't broach the subject of Nate with him, but she was beginning to regret that decision. With Mark starting dinner and the rest of the crew playing catch-up, Brodi's mother didn't seem to have a lot of opportunity to get her son off by himself, to have the privacy of a one on one conversation. If Nate was truly going to be on a plane to meet them within the next day or two, that conversation had to happen SOON. Elise seriously doubted that Brodi would handle another surprise visitor very well.

Still Elise tried to act as if nothing was wrong. She sat next to Brodi, laughed at the appropriate times, even kissed him a time or two when no one else was looking. Finally, realizing that there was no way she could spend the night in Brodi's arms without her conscience weighing on her, she decided to make the opportunity for Trish.

Without warning, she stood up and stretched.

"I'm going to take a walk on the beach before dinner. I'll be back in a few."

"I'll come with you."

Elise stopped as she rounded the sofa. "No, honey, why don't you stay and catch up with your parents." She gave a pointed look to Trish as she said this. "You see me every day. I'll be fine." She stood behind him and, leaning over and draping herself over him, kissed his cheek playfully. "You see them maybe twice a year. I'll be back. I promise."

"Kurt, why don't you go and see if Mark needs help with dinner, dear?" Trish said, at last seeming to pick up on what Elise was getting at. Unfortunately, so did Brodi.

"OK, you two. Out with it."

Crap, thought Elise. She walked back around to the front of the sofa so she could face Brodi. Trish, however, didn't give up so easily.

"What do you mean, dear?"

"Mom, please. Just talk to me. I'm not as fragile as all that. I'm not stupid, either. The two of you are up to something, or there's something that one of you is afraid to bring up. Out with it. Now."

Elise sighed and sat back down beside Brodi. She took his hand, and he gave her hand a squeeze but then released his grip and folded his arms in front of him. He seemed to ignore the hurt look on Elise's face as he tilted his head and raised an eyebrow at his mother.

Trish took a deep breath and began.

"I know that this afternoon's fall wasn't just a fall. I know it was a body memory releasing itself."

Brodi stole an annoyed glance at Elise before returning his gaze to Trish. "Go on," he said, his voice calm and even.

"And I know," Trish's voice quivered slightly, but Kurt gave her hand a pat and she seemed to regain her strength, "I know that you didn't have the flu at the end of your freshman year in college."

This time Brodi turned his head towards Elise. It was difficult to tell by Brodi's expression when he was annoyed or starting to get angry; the clues were very slight because he always tried to be in control of his emotions. Only those very close to him could tell when he was starting to get upset. Elise was that close to him. The boy was definitely upset.

"Elise," Brodi said calmly, "would you care to explain what my mother just said?"

"I didn't…" Elise began.

"She didn't tell me anything." Trish said quickly in Elise's defense. "She was as shocked as you are when I told her that I knew."

"Then how…"

"I'm your MOTHER, child." Trish said angrily. "Do you think I couldn't hear the pain in your voice when you finally called me after you'd been missing for three days? Do you think I didn't KNOW that you'd been missing? Did you think that I wouldn't notice that you purposefully delayed your coming home at the end of the semester until your bruises faded and you could walk without being in pain? Did you think…"

"TRISH!" Kurt said suddenly. The distraught woman turned to look at her husband, who put an arm around her and pulled her into him. "Trish, I think he gets the point, darling. You don't need to be upset with him…he only responded in the way he knew best."

"Upset with him?" Trish responded, almost in a whisper. "I'm not upset with him. I'm upset wi…" her voice faded away.

Patricia Ford was a tall woman in her own right, but to Elise at that moment she suddenly looked very small and fragile. Elise saw the woman's shoulders began to shake, and finally her entire body was racked with sobs.

"I'm his mother." She sobbed as her husband started to rock her back and forth. "I'm his mother, and there was nothing I could do to help him."

Brodi stood and approached his parents, kneeling in front of his mother as he rested a hand on her back. Elise looked back over the sofa at Mark in the kitchen; he looked up at her briefly, but quickly looked away and busied himself chopping more vegetables.

"Mom," Brodi began softly. "Mom, there is nothing you could have done that would have changed what happened. Nothing. But you DID help me. The way you raised me is what got me through it. You raised me to be self reliant, remember?"

Trish wiped her tears and looked at her son. "We raised you to be self reliant. We never meant to teach you that you couldn't come to us."

Brodi pressed his lips into a thin line and closed his eyes. When he opened them again he held his mother's gaze solidly.

"That's not it at all. If you and Pop hadn't helped me find a strong sense of self…who I was…Mom, it was shaken but I was able to rebuild it. If I hadn't been able to move my way through it, I would have come to you. But as it was, if I could spare you that much pain, I was going to do it. I'm sorry I lied to you. I am so, so sorry, Mom."

Kurt rested his hand on his son's shoulder, blinking back tears as he spoke.

"Maybe we kept you too sheltered. You didn't know what to expect in college; maybe we made you too trusting."

Brodi blinked in surprise. "How could you have prepared me for THAT? Nobody expects something like that to happen." He stood and started pacing the room. "There is nothing that either of you could have done that could have prepared me to be kidnapped, drugged, and tortured. And too trusting? It's not like I went anywhere with them willingly. They spiked a drink I had, waited for it to take effect, and loaded me into a car. How does trust enter into that?"

Brodi stopped mid-pace and, closing his eyes, turned his face towards the ceiling. He stood like that silently for a moment, carefully, slowly breathing in and out. When he opened his eyes again, he seemed to have regained his calm.

"You know what, though?" he said as he looked from one of them to the next, holding their gaze for a moment, "none of this matters. What happened, happened, and no amount of talking is going to undo it. Yes, it's causing me some problems, and I will deal with them. But I am not going to discuss this any further. Now, if you'll excuse me, I think that I am going to be the one taking a walk."

Brodi made a quick exit through the kitchen without giving any of them time to reply. Elise heard Mark try to stop him, but it Brodi kept going. Then Mark went back to chopping vegetables so furiously that Elise wondered briefly if they were going to be pureed.


	19. Chapter 19

In the living room, the remaining three sat there, stunned, for several minutes, not quite knowing what to say or do.

"Well," Elise said finally, "That went well."

"One of us should go after…" Trish began.

"No," Elise interrupted. "Let him go alone for a little while. I'll go find him in a few minutes. He'll be fine."

"But don't you think…"

"Elise is right, Trish." Kurt said as he rested a hand on her leg. "Let the boy go. We don't need to crowd him right now."

"We already have crowded him." Elise said as she stood up and started pacing. "All of this is moving too fast. This trip has gone straight to hell."

Elise made a couple more rounds of the room, intensely aware of everyone's eyes on her. Even the incessant vegetable chopping from the kitchen had stopped.

"All right, all right," she said finally, pressing her palm into her forehead. "I'll go after him in a few minutes. Just…give me time to think."

She paced the room a couple more times. On her second round, she nearly ran over Mark, who had silently walked out of the kitchen.

"Can I make a suggestion?" he asked as he guided her back to sit in the living room.

"Sure, why not."

"It's obvious that you two love each other. Now, before you interrupt…I said something to Brodi outside earlier and he gave me the "we're just friends" speech too.

I don't know if you're afraid to take the next step, if you're afraid of what the other one is thinking, or if you think you'll be ruining a friendship. Whatever the reason, just…look, trust me on this one. Take the risk. You'll be happily surprised."

Elise sat quietly for a moment, not quite knowing what to say, She looked around at all three of them, each watching her closely for her answer.

"I don't think," she finally began, "that my relationship with him is exactly high priority right now. What's important is that I'm here with him, regardless of whatever our status together is."

"It could be very healing," Trish offered.

Elise stood and started to walk around the couch. "Let's worry about Brodi and the current situation first, OK? He doesn't need any additional pressure."

"Are you going after him?"

"I'm going to go outside, Trish. If he's not back in a few minutes I'll go look for him."

Elise thought she heard someone else say something, but she was already heading out the door and didn't stop to see who it was or if it was directed to her.


	20. Chapter 20

The fresh ocean air hit Elise as soon as she stepped outside, and she immediately felt the tension start to drain from her body. No wonder Brodi liked the ocean so much, she thought to herself. She reached the top of the steps and hesitated. Should she go after him the way his family wanted her to? Or give him time to make his way back on his own? Slowly she made her way down the boardwalk access, going back and forth in her mind about what she should do. He hadn't really been gone that long yet. But then, he wasn't in a good frame of mind when he left the house. Brodi could be trusted to keep himself safe. But in this frame of mind was he really the Brodi she knew? She paused at the end of the boardwalk, and had just sat down on the top step to ponder this question when it was answered for her. In the distance she saw Brodi making his way back towards the house. Well, he might have been making his way back towards the house. He seemed at first to be wandering aimlessly, then she realized that he was intentionally remaining right where the surf was breaking, altering his path left or right in order to remain in the breaking surf. She thought back towards this morning…was it really so recently?…when he was running ice cold water over his hands. The ocean wasn't cold, but Elise was betting that it served the same purpose, keeping him in the here and now. He was on the verge of a flashback, or on the verge of dissociating, and he was intentionally using his five senses to anchor himself.

That realization alone was enough to make her want to fly into full caretaker mode and run out to him, bring him back to the house and put him under constant watch. She resisted her urges, though, knowing that at least for the moment he was safe. From her vantage point she could let him bring himself back around under her watchful eye, without it seeming like she was rescuing him again. By the same token, if he seemed in any immediate physical danger, she could be by his side in less than a minute.

So Elise sat there on her perch, feeling the wind come in off the ocean, hearing seagulls calling to each other, hearing the waves hit the beach. Sighing as a fresh breeze came in, she stretched her legs out in front of her several steps down, and leaned back on her hands. She tilted her head back to catch the best of the breeze, closing her eyes as she enjoyed the sensation of the air flowing over her.

"So I take it you were sent after me?"

Elise's eyes shot open, but she managed to keep her body from showing a startle response.

"Geez, Brodi, did you have to sneak up on me, honey?"

Several steps down in front of her, leaning against the railing and looking at her intently, stood Brodi.

Brodi looked surprised for a moment, and then laughed.

"I walked up in plain sight, babe. I didn't mean to startle you."

Elise pinched herself, then upon realizing that she was indeed awake, took in her surroundings, trying to re-orient herself.

"You were at the surf. I didn't close my eyes for that long, did I?"

Brodi approached her and sat down beside her, draping an arm around her as he pulled her in close.

"Hey, relax, hon. No, you couldn't have closed your eyes for that long. I saw you when you first sat down and decided to make my way back up towards you. Really, babe." Brodi held her face in his hands to look into her eyes. "Really. Now, are you OK?"

"I, uhm," Elise looked at him, then rested her hands over his, finally pulling his hands down to hold them in hers. "you just surprised me, that's all. I didn't see you coming up." She shuddered. "I don't like being that unaware of my surroundings. Gives me the willies."

"You're tired," he said with absolute certainty. "and this entire thing has been as much of a shock to you as it has been to me. You need to rest, hon. Why don't you turn in early tonight?"

"Can we just sit here for a minute?" She didn't add, "before we go back in and face them," but she had a feeling he understood her meaning.

He did. He draped his arm around her again and pulled her in close with a satisfied sigh. "It is relaxing, isn't it?" he asked, gesturing to the ocean with his free arm.

She tried to answer, she really did. The only thing she was able to articulate was something that sounded like, "Mmmmm".

"Elise?" he asked softly in her ear. This time her only response was to lean into him further. She felt a quiet chuckle emit from him, felt him stand and lift her in one smooth motion. She let him carry her back into the house, past his family and into the bedroom where they were going to sleep. At least, she THINKS that is what happened. She was out cold before she felt him lower her onto the bed.


	21. Chapter 21

Brodi picked Elise up and rested her head on his shoulder as he headed back up the boardwalk towards the house. Three pairs of eyes looked around at him as he entered the house.

"Elise! Is she OK?"

"She's fine, Mom," Brodi said perhaps a little more curtly than he intended as he made his way past them and started down the hall. "I'll be back in a minute." He called over his shoulder.


	22. Chapter 22

Brodi picked Elise up and rested her head on his shoulder as he headed back up the boardwalk towards the house. Three pairs of eyes looked around at him as he entered the house.

"Elise! Is she OK?"

"She's fine, Mom," Brodi said perhaps a little more curtly than he intended as he made his way past them and started down the hall. "Stay there. I'll be back in a minute," he called over his shoulder.

He entered the bedroom where he and Elise would be spending the night and gently laid Elise down on the bed. Still half asleep, she reached for him as he pulled away.

He took her hand and kissed it. "I'll be back," he whispered. "I just need to talk to Mom for a few minutes." He kissed her softly. "You just sleep, babe. I won't be far."

She mumbled something as he pulled away, but she already seemed to be falling asleep again, so he headed out and quietly closed the door.

He stood outside the door momentarily to gather his thoughts before he headed down the hall. He knew his mom would be waiting for him, but he needed to approach this calmly. Realizing it would probably be best to approach his mother alone, he took a deep breath and started down the hall.

"Mom, come take a walk with me," he said as he rounded the corner and took a step towards the kitchen.

"But Elise…"

"is fine," Brodi finished the sentence for her. "She's just really tired. Now, Mom," he gestured towards the kitchen door. "Please?"

Trish stole a questioning glance at her husband that was not lost on Brodi, then she shrugged and joined her son.

"Don't be too long. Dinner's up soon." Mark said as he raised up from putting something in the oven.

"Shouldn't take long," Brodi said as he held the door open for Trish, then followed her out.

The two of them headed down the board walk in silence, Trish slipping out of her sandals before they walked down the final steps and hit the sand.

"You always did love the ocean," Trish began as she looked up at her son.

"Mom," he said gently, "what were you thinking?"

Trish reached up and tenderly touched the side of Brodi's face.

"Mark calls us out of the blue and says, in effect, "Hey, I ran into Brodi. He's at my beach house, and oh, by the way, he had a seizure and has refused medical care." What am I SUPPOSED to think?"

"Mom." Brodi began.

"Have you forgotten how close we were to losing you?" she interrupted. "Of COURSE we were going to drive down."

"Mom, you know Elise would call you if something serious was to happen. And we were actually going to drive up there tonight or tomorrow. Mark lied to us to get us to stay until you arrived."

"He's worried about you, sweetheart. And he didn't lie. He just didn't tell you we were coming."

Brodi looked out over the ocean, silent for a moment. When he did speak again, he didn't look at his mother.

"He lied by omission. He could have just told us. And that doctor…"

"I told you he was worried. You scared him to death."

"That doctor," Brodi continued more firmly as he turned and leveled his gaze at his mother, "is the father of one of the men who attacked me."

Trish paled at the words.

"He doesn't know what his son did, and I didn't tell him. I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable, and I didn't want to put Mark in an awkward spot. I've already given him enough grief today."

Trish rested a hand on Brodi's arm.

"Honey, he's not upset with you."

Brodi sighed heavily.

"I yelled at him. I just…I don't know. I just lost it. When I realized that he had the same bed…" He looked at his mother, then back out over the ocean, "Dr. Carroll's son had a friend…the boy rented from Mark. That's how he wound up with the bed. The kid skipped out after I got away. Afraid I was going to file charges, I guess. Anyway, that's how Mark wound up with the bed."

"Oh, Brodi…"

"Mark couldn't have known. But I know he feels terrible. I wish I'd kept better control."

"Sweetie, it's OK. I'm sure…"

"No, Mom, it's not OK. I can't keep losing it like that. Elise and I meant for this to be taken in slowly, but our hand is being forced. It's just too much, too fast." Brodi stopped to regain control of his voice, blinking away a tear that was forming. "Now Mark knows that I was held in an apartment building he owns. I don't want him to feel responsible. I don't want pity. And I want this to stop being such a huge part of my life. By the Buddha, I feel like everybody knows. I'm not just Brodi anymore."

Trish hugged her son tightly, then reached up and kissed his cheek.

"Well," she said, holding him at arm's length and looking him up and down, "I don't see it stamped anywhere. It's certainly not on your forehead. And I know it all feels like too much right now, but you ARE going to regain your equilibrium."

"Mom, it's not just that. I know I'm going to be OK. And I know now that I obviously just buried something I thought I had dealt with."

"So you deal with it now," she said gently. "Isn't that what you came here to do? To at least START dealing with it?"

"Yes, but…"

"But not this quickly. I know. And I'm sorry we've all barged in like this."

"Mom," Brodi began slowly, knowing he needed to word the rest of what he had to say carefully. "If you're planning what I think you are, it's going to hurt. Not just me. It's going to hurt you too."

Trish nodded.

"The enchantment gets both the enchanter and the enchanted," she replied, paraphrasing her favorite author, Marion Zimmer Bradley. Then she reached up once more and cupped her son's face in her hands, gently but firmly holding his gaze. "I know that you were…" her voice caught in her throat, but she regained control quickly. "I know that you were raped. Just that knowledge alone is breaking my heart. And I do understand why you didn't tell us. But honey, we do know now, and if doing this rite will help you, I will do it."

"You forget that I've seen you do these rites. I know it's a powerful healing tool. And I've seen you help people with some deep-seated traumas begin to heal to the point where they can at least function again. But you're awfully close to this one, Mom, and if I agree to go through with it, you are going to know details of those three days…"

"Three days…" her voice trailed off.

Even in the dim evening light Brodi could see his mother paling. He pulled her close to him and wrapped his arms tightly around her. She made no noise, but he could feel her shaking against him.

"It's OK, Mom," he whispered, rocking her slowly, one arm around her back and the other holding her head against his chest. "It's OK. But this is what I mean. This will be intense. Extremely intense. I don't want to put you through that."

Trish pulled herself back from him and looked up at him again.

"Brodi, you are my child. Whatever I need to do to help you…'

"Three days, Mom. Not just rape."

"Just…"

"Torture. Three days of torture. And if we do this…"

"Brodi, come walk a little further down the beach with me," she said, taking his arm and giving him a gentle tug until he was walking along with her. She linked her arm in his as they walked.

"I know we never talked about this with you, but I'm sure you've guessed by now that your father and I didn't choose to wait so long into our marriage to have a baby."

"Mark mentioned something about it."

"We both knew we wanted children, and had intended to start right away. The first time I got pregnant, we told everyone the minute we found out. When we lost that child, it was…awkward, to say the least. Even close friends didn't know what to say or how to act around us."

Brodi thought back to his interactions with Eddie, and squeezed his mother's hand.

"I know how that feels," he said quietly.

"We were a bit more cautious after that," she continued. "Still, we were determined. After about the fourth time, even our OB-GYN was saying, "Maybe it's time to face facts." But the only fact we wanted to face was an infant in our hands."

They walked on in silence for a few moments, watching the setting sun, listening to the seagulls as they came in to nest for the night. Trish occasionally dipped her feet into the surf as the breaking waves washed up towards them. Brodi was about to prompt Trish on further when she started talking again on her own.

"Kurt and I sat down and did some heavy planning…much heavier than I usually get into for my rituals. You know I try to roll with whatever comes at us."

Brodi nodded but said nothing. His mother was a little more intense than he was, but he knew he probably inherited the core of his inner calm from her. When she did her rituals, he knew she tried to keep with the phases of the moon, and occasionally went as far as the time of day, but she never got deep into the astrological timing. Well, apparently "never" was a bit of an overstatement.

"On the day we decided on," she continued, "a group of our friends showed up and we did the ritual I had written, to the letter. Kurt's mother had been to Ireland a couple of months before, and had brought us a candle that had been lit by the Brigid fires."  
"Grandma?"

Trish laughed.

"Yes. Believe it or not, child, the woman did travel off the mountain on occasion. We used the candle in the ceremony, and used that candle to light another candle every day until we found out we were pregnant. After that, someone tended a candle every day until the day you were born. I was put on bedrest early on, had a midwife visiting me three times a week, and had a doctor actually come to me once a week. I was almost afraid to get attached, but I was afraid not to, too. I read to you in utero, chanted to you, sang to you, meditated with you. Your father would lay his head near my belly and sing to you for hours on end. Friends came by daily and cooked meals, cleaned, kept me company, ran errands for us. Honey, you truly are a product of love."

Brodi kissed the top of his mother's head.

"I have never doubted it in the least, Mom."

Trish chuckled to herself.

"What?"

"Oh, I was just thinking…when you were born…you were about three weeks early, but nothing too frightening. And you were certainly my little Zen baby. The doctors wanted you to cry to make sure your lungs were cleared out, but you wouldn't cry. You were just taking in your new environment. Until you got the hiccups."

Brodi raised an eyebrow.

"Hiccups?"

Trish chuckled again. "Yes. You got a case of hiccups and it made you mad. How such a tiny little thing made such a big racket, I'll never know."

Trish looked up at her son once more. "Yes, you were tiny. Not even five pounds. How you got so tall is a mystery…you've even outgrown your father."

Brodi couldn't help but smirk. "I stopped growing quite a few years ago, Mom."

"Yes, well, you're still my Zen child, so you're just going to have to live with that. Now, shall we start back before Mark and Kurt come looking for us?"

Brodi looked up and realized that they had wandered about a mile down the beach.

"Probably not a bad idea. Besides, I told Elise I wouldn't be far."

The two of them started walking back towards the house arm in arm. Trish leaned her head on her son's arm.

"You understand, Brodi, why I'm so willing to do this if it will help you."

"I do. Do you understand why I'm hesitant?"

Trish nodded.

"Don't worry about me, child. Remember, I didn't have to live through it. You have very noble reasons for not wanting to go through with it. But honey, I would walk through hell and back a dozen times over for you. So again I ask, do you understand why I'm so willing to do this?"

Brodi gave his mom a gentle squeeze and kissed the top of her head again.

"I do, Mom. I do."


	23. Chapter 23

Brodi picked Elise up and rested her head on his shoulder as he headed back up the boardwalk towards the house. Three pairs of eyes looked around at him as he entered the house.

"Elise! Is she OK?"

"She's fine, Mom," Brodi said perhaps a little more curtly than he intended as he made his way past them and started down the hall. "Stay there. I'll be back in a minute," he called over his shoulder.

He entered the bedroom where he and Elise would be spending the night and gently laid Elise down on the bed. Still half asleep, she reached for him as he pulled away.

He took her hand and kissed it. "I'll be back," he whispered. "I just need to talk to Mom for a few minutes." He leaned in and kissed her softly. "You just sleep, babe. I won't be far."

She mumbled something as he pulled away, but she already seemed to be falling asleep again, so he headed out and quietly closed the door.

He stood outside the door momentarily to gather his thoughts before he headed down the hall. He knew his mom would be waiting for him, but he needed to approach this calmly. Realizing it would probably be best to approach his mother alone, he took a deep breath and started down the hall.

"Mom, come take a walk with me," he said as he rounded the corner and took a step towards the kitchen.

"But Elise "

"is fine," Brodi finished the sentence for her. "She's just really tired. Now, Mom," he gestured towards the kitchen door. "Please?"

Trish stole a questioning glance at her husband that was not lost on Brodi, then she shrugged and joined her son.

"Don't be too long. Dinner's up soon." Mark said as he raised up from putting something in the oven.

"Shouldn't take long," Brodi said as he held the door open for Trish, then followed her out.

The two of them headed down the board walk in silence, Trish slipping out of her sandals before they walked down the final steps and hit the sand.

"You always did love the ocean," Trish began as she looked up at her son.

"Mom," he said gently, "what were you thinking?"

Trish reached up and tenderly touched the side of Brodi's face.

"Mark calls us out of the blue and says, in effect, "Hey, I ran into Brodi. He's at my beach house, and oh, by the way, he had some kind of seizure and has refused medical care." What am I SUPPOSED to think?"

"Mom." Brodi began.

"Have you forgotten how close we were to losing you? How bad your injury was? How sick you were with the pneumonia afterwards?" she interrupted. "Of COURSE we were going to drive down."

"Mom, you know Elise would call you if something serious was to happen. And we were actually going to drive up there tonight or tomorrow. Mark lied to us to get us to stay until you arrived."

"He's worried about you, sweetheart. And he didn't lie. He just didn't tell you we were coming."

Brodi looked out over the ocean, silent for a moment. When he did speak again, he didn't look at his mother.

"He lied by omission. He could have just told us. And that doctor..."

"I told you he was worried. You scared him to death."

"That doctor," Brodi continued more firmly as he turned and leveled his gaze at his mother, "is the father of one of the men who attacked me."

Trish paled at the words.

"He doesn't know what his son did, and I didn't tell him. I know he had just come over to help me. I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable, and I didn't want to put Mark in an awkward spot. I've already given him enough grief today."

Trish rested a hand on Brodi's arm.

"Honey, he's not upset with you."

Brodi sighed heavily.

"I yelled at him. I just...don't know. I just lost it. When I realized that he had the same bed..." He looked at his mother, then back out over the ocean, "Dr. Carroll's son had this friendthe boy rented from Mark. That's how he wound up with the bed. The kid skipped out after I got away. Afraid I was going to file charges, I guess. Anyway, that's how Mark wound up with the bed."

"Oh, Brodi "

"Mark couldn't have known. But I know he feels terrible. I wish I'd kept better control."

"Sweetie, it's OK. I'm sure "

"No, Mom, it's not OK. I can't keep losing it like that. Elise and I meant for this to be taken in slowly, but our hand is being forced. It's just too much, too fast." Brodi stopped to regain control of his voice, blinking away a tear that was forming. "Now Mark knows that I was held in an apartment building he owns. I don't want him to feel responsible. I don't want pity. And I want this to stop being such a huge part of my life. By the Buddha, I feel like everybody knows. I'm not just Brodi anymore."

Trish hugged her son tightly, then reached up and kissed his cheek.

"Well," she said, holding him at arm's length and looking him up and down, "I don't see it stamped anywhere. It's certainly not on your forehead. And I know it all feels like too much right now, but you ARE going to regain your equilibrium."

"Mom, it's not just that. I know I'm going to be OK. And I know now that I obviously just buried something I thought I had dealt with."

"So you deal with it now," she said gently. "Isn't that what you came here to do? To at least START dealing with it?"

"Yes, but "

"But not this quickly. I know. And I'm sorry we've all barged in like this."

"Mom," Brodi began slowly, knowing he needed to word the rest of what he had to say carefully. "If you're planning what I think you are, it's going to hurt. Not just me. It's going to hurt you too."

Trish nodded.

"The enchantment gets both the enchanter and the enchanted," she replied, paraphrasing her favorite author, Marion Zimmer Bradley. Then she reached up once more and cupped her son's face in her hands, gently but firmly holding his gaze. "I know that you were " her voice caught in her throat, but she regained control quickly. "I know that you were raped. Just that knowledge alone is breaking my heart. And I do understand why you didn't tell us. But honey, we do know now, and if doing this rite will help you, I will do it."

"You forget that I've seen you do these rites. I know it's a powerful healing tool. And I've seen you help people with some deep-seated traumas begin to heal to the point where they can at least function again. But you're awfully close to this one, Mom, and if I agree to go through with it, you are going to know details of those three days "

"Three days " her voice trailed off.

Even in the dim evening light Brodi could see his mother paling. He pulled her close to him and wrapped his arms tightly around her. She made no noise, but he could feel her shaking against him.

"It's OK, Mom," he whispered, rocking her slowly, one arm around her back and the other holding her head against his chest. "It's OK. But this is what I mean. This will be intense. Extremely intense. I don't want to put you through that."

Trish pulled herself back from him and looked up at him again.

"Brodi, you are my child. Whatever I need to do to help you '

"Three days, Mom. Not just rape."

"Just "

"Torture. Three days of torture. And if we do this "

"Brodi, come walk a little further down the beach with me," she said, taking his arm and giving him a gentle tug until he was walking along with her. She linked her arm in his as they walked.

"I know we never talked about this with you, but I'm sure you've guessed by now that your father and I didn't choose to wait so long into our marriage to have a baby."

"Mark mentioned something about it."

"We both knew we wanted children, and had intended to start right away. The first time I got pregnant, we told everyone the minute we found out. When we lost that child, it was awkward, to say the least. Even close friends didn't know what to say or how to act around us."

Brodi thought back to his interactions with Eddie, and squeezed his mother's hand.

"I know how that feels," he said quietly.

"We were a bit more cautious after that," she continued. "Still, we were determined. After about the fourth time, even our OB-GYN was saying, "Maybe it's time to face facts." But the only fact we wanted to face was an infant in our hands."

They walked on in silence for a few moments, watching the setting sun, listening to the seagulls as they came in to nest for the night. Trish occasionally dipped her feet into the surf as the breaking waves washed up towards them. Brodi was about to prompt Trish on further when she started talking again on her own.

"Kurt and I sat down and did some heavy planning much heavier than I usually get into for my rituals. You know I try to roll with whatever comes at us."

Brodi nodded but said nothing. His mother was a little more intense than he was, but he knew he probably inherited the core of his inner calm from her. When she did her rituals, he knew she tried to keep with the phases of the moon, and occasionally went as far as the time of day, but she never got deep into the astrological timing. Well, apparently "never" was a bit of an overstatement.

"On the day we decided on," she continued, "a group of our friends showed up and we did the ritual I had written, to the letter. Kurt's mother had been to Ireland a couple of months before, and had brought us a candle that had been lit by the Brigid fires."  
"Grandma?"

Trish laughed.

"Yes. Believe it or not, child, the woman did travel off the mountain on occasion. We used the candle in the ceremony, and used that candle to light another candle every day until we found out we were pregnant. After that, someone tended a candle every day until the day you were born. I was put on bedrest early on, had a midwife visiting me three times a week, and had a doctor actually come to me once a week. I was almost afraid to get attached, but I was afraid not to, too. I read to you in utero, chanted to you, sang to you, meditated with you. Your father would lay his head near my belly and sing to you for hours on end. Friends came by daily and cooked meals, cleaned, kept me company, ran errands for us. Honey, you truly are a product of love."

Brodi kissed the top of his mother's head.

"I have never doubted it in the least, Mom."

Trish chuckled to herself.

"What?"

"Oh, I was just thinking when you were born you were about three weeks early, but nothing too frightening. And you were certainly my little Zen baby. The doctors wanted you to cry to make sure your lungs were cleared out, but you wouldn't cry. You were just taking in your new environment. Until you got the hiccups."

Brodi raised an eyebrow.

"Hiccups?"

Trish chuckled again. "Yes. You got a case of hiccups and it made you mad. How such a tiny little thing made such a big racket, I'll never know."

Trish looked up at her son once more. "Yes, you were tiny. Not even five pounds. How you got so tall is a mystery. You've even outgrown your father."

Brodi couldn't help but smirk. "I stopped growing quite a few years ago, Mom."

"Yes, well, you're still my Zen child, so you're just going to have to live with that. Now, shall we start back before Mark and Kurt come looking for us?"

Brodi looked up and realized that they had wandered about a mile down the beach.

"Probably not a bad idea. Besides, I told Elise I wouldn't be far."

The two of them started walking back towards the house arm in arm. Trish leaned her head on her son's arm.

"You understand, Brodi, why I'm so willing to do this if it will help you."

"I do. Do you understand why I'm hesitant?"

Trish nodded.

"Don't worry about me, child. Remember, I didn't have to live through it. You have very noble reasons for not wanting to go through with it. But honey, I would walk through hell and back a dozen times over for you. So again I ask, do you understand why I'm so willing to do this?"

Brodi gave his mom a gentle squeeze and kissed the top of her head again.


	24. Chapter 24

Brodi led his mother back up the steps to the back porch of the house; from the look on his father's face as the older man stood in the doorway, his mother had been right. They would have sent out a search party soon. Kurt opened the door for them and stood aside to let them enter.  
"There you are! We were getting worried." Mark said, turning around from where he was placing plates on the table. "Dinner is ready."  
"Smells good." Trish said as she stopped at the stove and took the lid off of one of the pots. "Mmmm. Mark, your ranch potatoes are always so wonderful." She replaced the lid on the pot and spun around, her long broomstick skirt swirling as she moved.. "Should we wake Elise, dear? I know she hasn't eaten much."  
"I'll check on her." Brodi moved to head back down the hall. "But I have a feeling we should probably just let her sleep. She's beyond exhausted."  
He disappeared down the hall before anyone could say anything else, opening the door as quietly as he could and slipping into the room. He stood at the door briefly to allow his eyes time to adjust to the change in light, then made his way over to the bed. He sat down beside her on the bed and reached out to tenderly brush her hair out of her eyes. She didn't stir at his touch, a testament to how tired she really was.  
"Elise?" he whispered. Again, there was no response, so he leaned forward and kissed her cheek. "I'll be back."  
He stood and left the room just as quietly as he had entered. Again, once he closed the door, he stood still and took a deep breath, this time not to let his eyesight adjust but to let his attitude adjust. He knew that when he walked back down that hall, he was going to have to have a conversation he'd rather just avoid. At the same time, he knew that they were just trying to help him because they loved him, and he didn't want to be too hard on them. Seeing his mother break down sobbing earlier was almost more than he could take, and he was almost sure he couldn't go through it again.  
"Just breathe," he reminded himself. He thought about just telling them he was going to go to bed as well, but his mother would get angsty about his not eating. He could sit and eat with them and hopefully keep the conversation light enough.  
"Well?" Mark asked as Brodi popped around the corner again.  
"She's sleeping too deeply. I'll just fix a plate and set it in the fridge for her in case she wakes up in the middle of the night."  
"You're going to eat, though, aren't you?"  
Brodi walked over to his mother, grabbed her shoulders, and kissed the top of her head.  
"Yes, Mom. I'm going to eat, so don't worry." He turned to the table and pulled a chair out for her.  
"You are always going to be my baby, child, so you can just get used to that right now."  
"I wouldn't have it any other way, Mom."  
Brodi sat down and waited for the other two men in the room to sit before he started in on the plate that had been placed in front of him. An awkward silence settled over them as they ate, and Brodi felt himself getting irritated at the way no one seemed to want to look directly at him. Finally, he could stand it no longer.  
"So, Mom...if I decide to let you do this thing..." he emphasized the word "if", "when were you wanting to do it?"  
His father and Mark suddenly seemed very uncomfortable, and Brodi momentarily felt bad about being so blunt. But damn it, he was tired of dancing around the thing.  
"Well," Trish began, seemingly oblivious to the hesitation of the other men in the room, "I was thinking maybe two days from now? It will give Nate time to arrive and rest up a little before..."  
"Nate?"  
Out of the corner of his eye, Brodi saw his father drop his head into his hands and groan softly. Mark seemed to find something very interesting to stare at in his plate.  
"Why yes." she stated innocently. "Didn't I tell you? I called Rahzel and..."  
"MOM!"  
Trish calmly put down her fork and looked at her son. "Yes?"  
"You called Rahzel? Seriously?"  
"Honey, when you do this..."  
"IF I do this..."  
"If you do this," she conceded, "you've seen it done. You've helped me do it for others. You know how unpredictable it is. I want to make sure you're completely safe."  
"I can't believe you called them before even discussing it with me. And all these plans have been made within the past 12 hours or so?"  
"Since Mark called us, yes." Trish shot Mark a look as the poor man coughed uncomfortably. "It's not that I was so sure you were going to do it. It's just that, if you do agree to it, we wanted to be ready to go ahead with it."  
"We? Dad, you too?"  
Kurt looked at his son sadly and shrugged.  
"I'm sorry, son. I did know about it."  
"And that's the extent of his part in this, sweetheart. He knew about it and agreed not to say anything until I talked to you. So if you're upset with anyone..."  
"Mom, that's not the point..."  
"You should be upset with me, not with your father."  
"That's not the point, Mom. Please understand..."  
Kurt stood suddenly and laid a heavy hand on Brodi's shoulder. Everyone fell silent instantly.  
"Why don't you step outside for a minute with me, son?" he said, giving Trish a warning look that did not escape Brodi. Brodi looked at his mother, who started picking at the food on her plate with the fork in her hand, then looked at Mark, who finally did make eye contact with him and nodded to him.  
"OK," Brodi said, pushing himself back from the table and standing. "Excuse us, please, folks,"  
Saying nothing more, he followed his father out onto the patio, much as he had followed his mother earlier in the evening.


End file.
